1. To those who keep leaving copies of the new testament on the bench in front of my gym locker, on our steps, and in my office mailbox: thanks for being worried about my salvation and all but although it is true that I have not accepted Jesus Christ as my savior, it is not for lack of access to the New Testament.
2. Also, perhaps this is only hilarious if it depicts your current life fairly accurately but I laughed so hard I cried.
Friday, September 15, 2006
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
what was i thinking when...*
If I were put together enough to run any regular kind of posts, one of my regular "segments" would be entitled "What was I thinking when..." In these posts I would detail some glaringly stupid thing I had done.
For example:
1. What was I thinking way back when I was 5 years old and at Feeney's grocery on the island with Mitzii (yes, really) and her mom and I just popped a piece of gum in my mouth without waiting to pay for it or even asking if Mitzii's mom was willing to buy us a piece of gum?
2. When I agreed to teach 2 classes this semester?
3. When I stupidly announced that a faculty member had been offered and turned down a job at another department and I did this in a very public setting in front of that faculty member even though I had no idea how public that information was and I learned it through a member of the faculty at that other department who has his foot in his mouth even more frequently than I do?
4. When I said, "I swear to God" while giving a lecture?
Of course, if I were going to really do it up, I would elaborate on these stupid acts, including the lead in, how quickly (or not) I realized I was an idiot, exactly how bright red I became and for how long, and how my stupidity continues to affect my life even today.
*incidentally, I imagine this is the kind of post that prompts my partner to believe my blogging is risky activity.
For example:
1. What was I thinking way back when I was 5 years old and at Feeney's grocery on the island with Mitzii (yes, really) and her mom and I just popped a piece of gum in my mouth without waiting to pay for it or even asking if Mitzii's mom was willing to buy us a piece of gum?
2. When I agreed to teach 2 classes this semester?
3. When I stupidly announced that a faculty member had been offered and turned down a job at another department and I did this in a very public setting in front of that faculty member even though I had no idea how public that information was and I learned it through a member of the faculty at that other department who has his foot in his mouth even more frequently than I do?
4. When I said, "I swear to God" while giving a lecture?
Of course, if I were going to really do it up, I would elaborate on these stupid acts, including the lead in, how quickly (or not) I realized I was an idiot, exactly how bright red I became and for how long, and how my stupidity continues to affect my life even today.
*incidentally, I imagine this is the kind of post that prompts my partner to believe my blogging is risky activity.
Sunday, September 10, 2006
Last night when I was giving E her bath before bed, she was splashing around like usual and she slipped and went under - the first time ever on my watch. I was right there. I saw it all happen and recall the detail so well it was one of those seconds that lasted forever. One minute she is laughing at the water she is causing to fly about and the next minute she is staring up through the water with a look of complete shock on her face. I pulled her out instantly and held her, getting soaked. She made a couple of futile attempts at gasping for air and then coughed a little, fussed for a second, and started to squirm in my arms. I thought to myself, "Well... she's OK so it's probably best to put her back in the tub for a second so she can end the bath on a good note and not develop an aversion to bathing or the water." I placed her very gingerly in the tub and she started laughing and splashing again - this time reaching across the tub for one of her bath toys. "Be CAREful," I said as she began to slip again and I took her arm to make sure she stayed alfoat. She laughed again!
At this point I decided that I was the one developing an aversion to her baths and pulled the plug both literally and figuratively. My partner took care of bathing tonight. As for me, I'm thinking she's old enough for the shower.
At this point I decided that I was the one developing an aversion to her baths and pulled the plug both literally and figuratively. My partner took care of bathing tonight. As for me, I'm thinking she's old enough for the shower.
Saturday, September 09, 2006
To blog or not to blog
My partner and I differ a little bit when it comes to our notions of privacy and risk. When we first moved in together, it was a constant battle between having all the shades up, the windows open, and the doors unlocked and living in a "locked down" facility. We've both regressed toward the mean a little. He doesn't feel the need to close all the downstairs windows every time he goes upstairs and sometimes he even leaves the outer door unlocked when he takes out the dogs although he is still pretty strict about keeping the blinds down and curtains drawn. I actually frequently lock the doors when I am inside and am not constantly running around the house undoing all the closing up he does. However, I still don't worry about closing the shades at night or drawing the curtains so that folks don't see me streaking from the shower to my bedroom closet.
My generally unarticulated philosophy on privacy goes something like this:
1. If you have nothing better to do than hang around waiting for a glimpse of me streaking to my bedroom, I feel for you.
2. If you happen to see or hear something "private" because the shades are up, I expect you to show me the courtesy of turning away and moving on. I would do the same for you. Privacy is, after all, a social arrangement. Living in close quarters (there is not more than 14 feet between our house and the next and there is only a wooden fence separating our backyards) means that we are privy to all kinds of information about one another. Instead of policing the public/private boundary, ultimately a futile task, it makes more sense to maintain norms for respecting the difference between public and private behavior.
Remember Goffman's story about how the Shetland Islanders would walk into one another's houses (same holds on my island home) but would make sure to announce themselves by approaching noisily? Were they to walk in on anything (within reason) private, they would likely turn a blind eye.
So here's the thing. My partner thinks I should discontinue my blog in light of my impending foray into the job market. He thinks that much of the information I disclose is too private and would be a problem if it became known to potential employers and he takes it as a given that my potential employers will discover my blog.
I tend to think that's baloney. First, I think potential employers have better things to do than trying to find out if I have a secret blog somewhere. Second, even if folks were to learn about this blog, I fail to see how it would color their opinion of me as a candidate provided the blog was not used to account for some previously recognized problem with me as a candidate. Lastly, although my posts here aren't constitutive of some joyous and empowering Whitman-esque (Whitmanian??) "yawp," I do value the opportunity to make a "peep" every now and then. SO, dear reader(s), I solicit your help in 2 ways. First, if you would be so kind as to respond to the poll, I would be much obliged. Second, comments are welcome.
My generally unarticulated philosophy on privacy goes something like this:
1. If you have nothing better to do than hang around waiting for a glimpse of me streaking to my bedroom, I feel for you.
2. If you happen to see or hear something "private" because the shades are up, I expect you to show me the courtesy of turning away and moving on. I would do the same for you. Privacy is, after all, a social arrangement. Living in close quarters (there is not more than 14 feet between our house and the next and there is only a wooden fence separating our backyards) means that we are privy to all kinds of information about one another. Instead of policing the public/private boundary, ultimately a futile task, it makes more sense to maintain norms for respecting the difference between public and private behavior.
Remember Goffman's story about how the Shetland Islanders would walk into one another's houses (same holds on my island home) but would make sure to announce themselves by approaching noisily? Were they to walk in on anything (within reason) private, they would likely turn a blind eye.
So here's the thing. My partner thinks I should discontinue my blog in light of my impending foray into the job market. He thinks that much of the information I disclose is too private and would be a problem if it became known to potential employers and he takes it as a given that my potential employers will discover my blog.
I tend to think that's baloney. First, I think potential employers have better things to do than trying to find out if I have a secret blog somewhere. Second, even if folks were to learn about this blog, I fail to see how it would color their opinion of me as a candidate provided the blog was not used to account for some previously recognized problem with me as a candidate. Lastly, although my posts here aren't constitutive of some joyous and empowering Whitman-esque (Whitmanian??) "yawp," I do value the opportunity to make a "peep" every now and then. SO, dear reader(s), I solicit your help in 2 ways. First, if you would be so kind as to respond to the poll, I would be much obliged. Second, comments are welcome.
Friday, September 08, 2006
Plan of Attack
Here's the plan. What do you think? Actually, unless you are going to tell me things that reinforce my fragile self-esteem, just remain mum, OK?
This semester:
1. Send out 2 (possibly 3) book reviews so as to take small steps toward overcoming the fear of disseminating research (to be completed by October 15 ath the LATEST). I'm much more comfortable commenting on other people's work so why not navigate the process a couple of times with written work that I feel OK about? I know, I should have been doing this all along.
2. Complete and clean up dissertation chapter 2.
3. Send it out to folks for comment.
4. Prepare thesis (I know, I know. This should have been done ages ago) for submission.
5. Find folks to read revised thesis and send it to them.
The break:
1. ASA submission- first run at chapter 3 based on data collected in initial field site (try to hijack panel with like-minded co-conspirators)
2. Revise chapter 2.
3. Revise thesis.
Next semester:
1. Send chapter 2 out for publication.
2. Send thesis out for publication.
3. Begin chapter 4 interviews.
4. Ongoing chapter 3 data collection in follow-up sites and writing.
5. Hunger data analysis and policy brief.
This semester:
1. Send out 2 (possibly 3) book reviews so as to take small steps toward overcoming the fear of disseminating research (to be completed by October 15 ath the LATEST). I'm much more comfortable commenting on other people's work so why not navigate the process a couple of times with written work that I feel OK about? I know, I should have been doing this all along.
2. Complete and clean up dissertation chapter 2.
3. Send it out to folks for comment.
4. Prepare thesis (I know, I know. This should have been done ages ago) for submission.
5. Find folks to read revised thesis and send it to them.
The break:
1. ASA submission- first run at chapter 3 based on data collected in initial field site (try to hijack panel with like-minded co-conspirators)
2. Revise chapter 2.
3. Revise thesis.
Next semester:
1. Send chapter 2 out for publication.
2. Send thesis out for publication.
3. Begin chapter 4 interviews.
4. Ongoing chapter 3 data collection in follow-up sites and writing.
5. Hunger data analysis and policy brief.
Thursday, September 07, 2006
Tuesday, September 05, 2006
middle
there are so many mediocre books in the world. hopefully the not so random sample of books I've read over the past few days are not indicative of some accelerating devolution in research around race and ethnicity, particularly the African American middle-class and educating African American youth.
Sheesh. Can't we do any better than The Dreamkeepers and Black Picket Fences*, folks? Am I missing the really good stuff?
*I'm inclined to cut Patillo a little slack. It was her dissertation, after all. She deserves props for just getting the manuscript out. Further, I attended a presentation she gave at the ASA and liked it. Ladson-Billings, however, is too senior to have produced the book she did. I decided to use it to replace Bad Boys on my students' reading list because I generally have a number of future teachers and last semester they were hoping for a book that offered a plan of action instead of just spelling out how schools reproduce inequality. Ladson-Billings offers a plan of action. However, it hinges upon having the same cultural frame of reference as the students. She profiles 8 teachers (6 African American and 2 white). However, of the white teachers, one has an African-American cultural frame of reference and the other spent a great deal of time in African and has an equal number of white and African American friends. I fear that my mostly white suburban education students will come away from the book thinking that they don't have the ability to be good teachers of African American students.
Sheesh. Can't we do any better than The Dreamkeepers and Black Picket Fences*, folks? Am I missing the really good stuff?
*I'm inclined to cut Patillo a little slack. It was her dissertation, after all. She deserves props for just getting the manuscript out. Further, I attended a presentation she gave at the ASA and liked it. Ladson-Billings, however, is too senior to have produced the book she did. I decided to use it to replace Bad Boys on my students' reading list because I generally have a number of future teachers and last semester they were hoping for a book that offered a plan of action instead of just spelling out how schools reproduce inequality. Ladson-Billings offers a plan of action. However, it hinges upon having the same cultural frame of reference as the students. She profiles 8 teachers (6 African American and 2 white). However, of the white teachers, one has an African-American cultural frame of reference and the other spent a great deal of time in African and has an equal number of white and African American friends. I fear that my mostly white suburban education students will come away from the book thinking that they don't have the ability to be good teachers of African American students.
Friday, September 01, 2006
refrigerator blindness
I'm back to Jeffrey Alexander again but only for a moment.
He's reaching on his application of the autonomy of culture and his requirement that cultural sociological analyses take culture as an independent variable. Ultimately, or at least based upon his own work, one must conclude that his theory cannot make predictions and only appears to have value when used as a retrospective explanatory tool. Furthermore, actors, interests and values, and other spheres of social life are left out of his "thick descriptions of culture." Yet they come sliding right back in again when Alexander attempts to explain cultural change and the succession of social theories. Instead of self-interested agents, economic incentives, politics, or other "non-cultural" factors, Alexander's theory rests on theory itself as an actor seeking self-preservation and ascendancy ("Broad theories can defend themselves by defining and protecting a set of core propositions, jettisoning entire segments of their perspective as only peripherally important" (Meanings of Social Life, p. 205)). Alexander constructs culture as an actor the same way states are constructed by Skocpol, individuals are constructed by rational choice theories, corporations by organizational theorists, etc, etc.
Ultimately Alexander is so adamant regarding the independence of culture that he really has no way to bring culture back into the world of material consequences without jettisoning that which is most important - an understanding of culture as the affective, dramaturgical and discursive context in which all action is carried out.
He's reaching on his application of the autonomy of culture and his requirement that cultural sociological analyses take culture as an independent variable. Ultimately, or at least based upon his own work, one must conclude that his theory cannot make predictions and only appears to have value when used as a retrospective explanatory tool. Furthermore, actors, interests and values, and other spheres of social life are left out of his "thick descriptions of culture." Yet they come sliding right back in again when Alexander attempts to explain cultural change and the succession of social theories. Instead of self-interested agents, economic incentives, politics, or other "non-cultural" factors, Alexander's theory rests on theory itself as an actor seeking self-preservation and ascendancy ("Broad theories can defend themselves by defining and protecting a set of core propositions, jettisoning entire segments of their perspective as only peripherally important" (Meanings of Social Life, p. 205)). Alexander constructs culture as an actor the same way states are constructed by Skocpol, individuals are constructed by rational choice theories, corporations by organizational theorists, etc, etc.
Ultimately Alexander is so adamant regarding the independence of culture that he really has no way to bring culture back into the world of material consequences without jettisoning that which is most important - an understanding of culture as the affective, dramaturgical and discursive context in which all action is carried out.
Tuesday, August 29, 2006
impatience
Anyone know when I can expect the books I ordered at the ASA? They're coming directly from the publisher so I kind of figured they would arrive quickly.
Monday, August 28, 2006
Friday, August 25, 2006
inconvenient
The office is coming along great. I love the desk and now cannot wait for the shelving and file cabinet to arrive. I like it all so much, in fact, that I am thinking of renting a carpet cleaner so I can attempt to bring the carpet up to snuff with the rest of my new office. I also need an office chair, a corkboard, and some picture frames.
Yesterday was my partners birthday so we went out for a nice dinner and a movie. We saw An Inconvenient Truth. I enjoyed it. I think it's safe to say that my thoughts kept returning to a few specific things on the walk home (thankfully, I was spared the guilt of driving home because we live in a neighborhood in which we can walk to 4-star restaurants and movie theatres).
First, I kept wondering what my dad and Mary would think of the film. I think my dad would find it somewhat compelling and I think that Mary would either say that we just need to pray about global warming or she would say that there is no such thing at all and that people who think other countries are doing a better a job on the environment should just go ahead and move.
Second, I've decided that I am going to seriously curb my driving over and above the low levels of driving we currently do (I am going to be a mass transit and walking nazi). This endeavor is supported by the impending opening of Milwaukee's first Whole Foods which is minutes away from our place.
Finally, wouldn't it be nice to have a president who is ABOUT something? I don't think we've had one of those in my lifetime - a president who is really consumed by one particular social concern. The film reminded me that back in the 90s I was a huge Al Gore fan, read his book, followed the work he was doing on the Kyoto Protocol, etc. My partner thinks Gore should take another shot at the white house but I think that would be foolish. He won't have the party behind him and, besides, I think he may accomplish more as the man who should have been president - kind of a Jimmy Carter-esque position (I know Carter did a term) of having the moral authority and voice but not having the practical obstacles to pursuing the best ends.
Yesterday was my partners birthday so we went out for a nice dinner and a movie. We saw An Inconvenient Truth. I enjoyed it. I think it's safe to say that my thoughts kept returning to a few specific things on the walk home (thankfully, I was spared the guilt of driving home because we live in a neighborhood in which we can walk to 4-star restaurants and movie theatres).
First, I kept wondering what my dad and Mary would think of the film. I think my dad would find it somewhat compelling and I think that Mary would either say that we just need to pray about global warming or she would say that there is no such thing at all and that people who think other countries are doing a better a job on the environment should just go ahead and move.
Second, I've decided that I am going to seriously curb my driving over and above the low levels of driving we currently do (I am going to be a mass transit and walking nazi). This endeavor is supported by the impending opening of Milwaukee's first Whole Foods which is minutes away from our place.
Finally, wouldn't it be nice to have a president who is ABOUT something? I don't think we've had one of those in my lifetime - a president who is really consumed by one particular social concern. The film reminded me that back in the 90s I was a huge Al Gore fan, read his book, followed the work he was doing on the Kyoto Protocol, etc. My partner thinks Gore should take another shot at the white house but I think that would be foolish. He won't have the party behind him and, besides, I think he may accomplish more as the man who should have been president - kind of a Jimmy Carter-esque position (I know Carter did a term) of having the moral authority and voice but not having the practical obstacles to pursuing the best ends.
Wednesday, August 23, 2006
An office worthy of a dissertation, Part I
We have a very nice house and we tend to keep it tidy and reasonably clean except for the dog hair tumbleweeds that like to blow about between vacuuming sessions. Our decorating is a bit on the spartan side - not a great many knick-knacks, etc.
Our house is great except for the office, which is a total disaster. See photographic evidence here:
I've decided that I need an office worthy of the dissertation I want to write - a corollary of my dad's obsession with "dressing for the job you want to have." The office worthy of the dissertation I want to write will have comfortable seating, loads of surface area and enough shelves for the books (and other assorted reading material) my partner and I currently posses as well as the books we will come into possession of in the next 24 months (presumably after that time I will have a job and an office at said job and some of my books will live at work).
I recently implemented phase one of the office reconstruction: ordering a spacious corner desk. Target's Furio mission style desk with hutch and computer desk have to go. Phase 2 is floor to ceiling modular shelving to be ordered during the next credit card billing cycle. Phase 3 is the acquisition of a lateral file no more than 42 inches long. I'm trying to do that one on the way cheap.
The desk has just arrived and I am about to start taking this office apart to usher in a new period of unprecedented mental clarity and productivity! Not sure how long it will be before I get my computer set up in the desk's CPU cabinet. Until then, adieu!
Our house is great except for the office, which is a total disaster. See photographic evidence here:
I've decided that I need an office worthy of the dissertation I want to write - a corollary of my dad's obsession with "dressing for the job you want to have." The office worthy of the dissertation I want to write will have comfortable seating, loads of surface area and enough shelves for the books (and other assorted reading material) my partner and I currently posses as well as the books we will come into possession of in the next 24 months (presumably after that time I will have a job and an office at said job and some of my books will live at work).I recently implemented phase one of the office reconstruction: ordering a spacious corner desk. Target's Furio mission style desk with hutch and computer desk have to go. Phase 2 is floor to ceiling modular shelving to be ordered during the next credit card billing cycle. Phase 3 is the acquisition of a lateral file no more than 42 inches long. I'm trying to do that one on the way cheap.
The desk has just arrived and I am about to start taking this office apart to usher in a new period of unprecedented mental clarity and productivity! Not sure how long it will be before I get my computer set up in the desk's CPU cabinet. Until then, adieu!
the end is near!
[click for more info]
I know that the last couple installments haven't been the best but here's hoping.
I know that the last couple installments haven't been the best but here's hoping.
strong program
I'm really quite busy over the next few days and, it being E's nap time, I should be tending to a plethora of more immediately pressing things. However, I need to work through this a little bit.
I've been reevaluating Jeff Alexander's strong program of cultural sociology since the ASA. I decided earlier on in my graduate career that the strong program is a little too retrospective (in that it doesn't seem to have any predictive power) and a little too agent-less for me. However, some conversations I had at the meeting led to me think I should reconsider. So, I'm reading.
Anyway, in theory (used here as a figure of speech) I am sympathetic to the strong program which is akin in many ways to Foucault's study of the causal and arbitrary nature of language/discourse/knowledge (have I mentioned that I LOVE Foucault? Discipline & Punish would likely make it on my all-time top 10 READING list) but maintains the autonomy of culture, which is to say that the cultural realm is distinct from and not homologous (sorry Bourdieu) or reducible to other elements of the social world like the state, economic interests, etc, etc.
It is no wonder that Alexander's theoretical work is appealing to me. My entire larger research project, including my quantitative master's thesis and even my BA thesis, is concerned with the relationship between intention and action (particularly as both intention and action are mutually constitutive as well as necessarily referential to both internal and external meaning systems). However, I have never encountered an application of the strong program that works for me.
What I am looking for is a more microsociological theory of cultural autonomy that takes pragmatic (here used as a reference to American Pragmatism. I am thinking here about the importance of habit and intelligence in that pragmatic sense) and ethnomethodological (e.g. accountability to everday interaction) concerns into account. I want this microsociological theory to be the corrolary of a more macrosociological theory of culture explaining the development, dissemination and impact (causally speaking) at the macro level of culture structures.
Any ideas, folks? Seems like too large a project for the dissertation.
I've been reevaluating Jeff Alexander's strong program of cultural sociology since the ASA. I decided earlier on in my graduate career that the strong program is a little too retrospective (in that it doesn't seem to have any predictive power) and a little too agent-less for me. However, some conversations I had at the meeting led to me think I should reconsider. So, I'm reading.
Anyway, in theory (used here as a figure of speech) I am sympathetic to the strong program which is akin in many ways to Foucault's study of the causal and arbitrary nature of language/discourse/knowledge (have I mentioned that I LOVE Foucault? Discipline & Punish would likely make it on my all-time top 10 READING list) but maintains the autonomy of culture, which is to say that the cultural realm is distinct from and not homologous (sorry Bourdieu) or reducible to other elements of the social world like the state, economic interests, etc, etc.
It is no wonder that Alexander's theoretical work is appealing to me. My entire larger research project, including my quantitative master's thesis and even my BA thesis, is concerned with the relationship between intention and action (particularly as both intention and action are mutually constitutive as well as necessarily referential to both internal and external meaning systems). However, I have never encountered an application of the strong program that works for me.
What I am looking for is a more microsociological theory of cultural autonomy that takes pragmatic (here used as a reference to American Pragmatism. I am thinking here about the importance of habit and intelligence in that pragmatic sense) and ethnomethodological (e.g. accountability to everday interaction) concerns into account. I want this microsociological theory to be the corrolary of a more macrosociological theory of culture explaining the development, dissemination and impact (causally speaking) at the macro level of culture structures.
Any ideas, folks? Seems like too large a project for the dissertation.
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
and down again
Not only am I crazy (see my comments here for proof), I attended a job market meeting today (yes, I know, not until next year but I worry that my partner is going to be offered a lateral this year and I want to have something to send out) in which I looked at CVs that confirmed no amount of cosmetic work is going to make mine worthy of the short list. Then I was off to a meeting with a faculty member I hoped would be a good collaborator/mentor/#4. This particular individual gave me a "we'll see."
Given that most of the faculty I know from taking courses and attending brownbags have left or retired and that I am not around the department to maintain and initiate relations with others, I feel like I'm really in a bind when it comes to rounding out my committee and coming up with a list of recommenders (let's bracket the fact that I'd also like a bit of a shepherd and agent when it comes to the job market). Furthermore, I would find it particularly painful to be told by a faculty member I asked that s/he would rather not recommend me/etc so I find myself not asking. I know I'm not around and I know there are a lot of grad students in the department and I know that it's work to write those letters, particularly if you want to do it well and say something about the dissertation but I also know I need some advocates.
For now, my ego mildly bruised after today, I think it best if I get through some of the books and articles on the stack and finish my syllabus for the fall. No danger of assaults on the self esteem there.
Given that most of the faculty I know from taking courses and attending brownbags have left or retired and that I am not around the department to maintain and initiate relations with others, I feel like I'm really in a bind when it comes to rounding out my committee and coming up with a list of recommenders (let's bracket the fact that I'd also like a bit of a shepherd and agent when it comes to the job market). Furthermore, I would find it particularly painful to be told by a faculty member I asked that s/he would rather not recommend me/etc so I find myself not asking. I know I'm not around and I know there are a lot of grad students in the department and I know that it's work to write those letters, particularly if you want to do it well and say something about the dissertation but I also know I need some advocates.
For now, my ego mildly bruised after today, I think it best if I get through some of the books and articles on the stack and finish my syllabus for the fall. No danger of assaults on the self esteem there.
Monday, August 21, 2006
recovery
Better today although I'm decelerating when it comes to work. E doesn't have school this week - intercession - and my partner started teaching today. Thus, I am going to have a slow work week.
Something else about the ASA. Did anyone else notice that there were a lot of babies and small children present? Further, did anyone notice that those youngsters were usually in the care of their fathers or other male caregivers?
It seems too obvious to mention but I will anyway. The idea is, folks, that good dads can bring their kids to work from time to time ( and aren't they just such great parents for taking part in care-giving) while good female sociologists don't let children distract them from their work. We hear and obey!
Something else about the ASA. Did anyone else notice that there were a lot of babies and small children present? Further, did anyone notice that those youngsters were usually in the care of their fathers or other male caregivers?
It seems too obvious to mention but I will anyway. The idea is, folks, that good dads can bring their kids to work from time to time ( and aren't they just such great parents for taking part in care-giving) while good female sociologists don't let children distract them from their work. We hear and obey!
Sunday, August 20, 2006
shambles
Sadly, things have gone downhill since my last post. Back to feeling alone, invisible and "like butter scraped over too much bread." No new developments academically... it's just the rest of it, you know, the rest of life.
Is it just that I have been home long enough for the ASA high to wear off? Is blogging bad luck? Was it wrong to state what I had been feeling for days, that things are good?
Damn.
Is it just that I have been home long enough for the ASA high to wear off? Is blogging bad luck? Was it wrong to state what I had been feeling for days, that things are good?
Damn.
post hoc
Sorry, sorry. I thinking I'm starting to be over this endeavor but I've felt that way before so we'll just play it by ear, OK?
The ASA was great! If you haven't noticed, I am a bit socially and intellectually isolated out here in brew city. Thus, it was wonderful to have interaction and with SO MANY SOCIOLOGISTS! The whole experience really boosted my confidence in my work and made me feel better about my chosen vocation.
E and her dad had a nice trip too. They went to many of the museums and sites. My partner likes to visit old Olympic venues. Luckily for him, Montreal once hosted the Olympics. Luckily for me, I was too busy to accompany him on a tour. E loved our accommodations in Montreal. She was really working on pulling up and cruising - precursor to walking. She also diversified her mobility repetoire a little by adding conventional crawling (she is typically a butt-scooter) and crab walking to her skill set.
Anyway, the trip has energized me. First, I am no longer applying for asst. prof. positions this year. Instead I'm going to put the energy into getting one chapter finished and sent out to journals and 2 other chapters well underway. Second, I am going to put more energy into networking with other sociologists doing work sympathetic to my own. Finally, I've been ON TASK since we returned. I get through most of the items on my to do list most days (and I've replaced a lot of mom-ish chores with dissertation-ish ones) and put in extra work time during E's naps and, importantly, at night.
So, things are good.
The ASA was great! If you haven't noticed, I am a bit socially and intellectually isolated out here in brew city. Thus, it was wonderful to have interaction and with SO MANY SOCIOLOGISTS! The whole experience really boosted my confidence in my work and made me feel better about my chosen vocation.
E and her dad had a nice trip too. They went to many of the museums and sites. My partner likes to visit old Olympic venues. Luckily for him, Montreal once hosted the Olympics. Luckily for me, I was too busy to accompany him on a tour. E loved our accommodations in Montreal. She was really working on pulling up and cruising - precursor to walking. She also diversified her mobility repetoire a little by adding conventional crawling (she is typically a butt-scooter) and crab walking to her skill set.
Anyway, the trip has energized me. First, I am no longer applying for asst. prof. positions this year. Instead I'm going to put the energy into getting one chapter finished and sent out to journals and 2 other chapters well underway. Second, I am going to put more energy into networking with other sociologists doing work sympathetic to my own. Finally, I've been ON TASK since we returned. I get through most of the items on my to do list most days (and I've replaced a lot of mom-ish chores with dissertation-ish ones) and put in extra work time during E's naps and, importantly, at night.
So, things are good.
Friday, August 11, 2006
not the ritz
One of the things we learned very early in our travels with E was that luxury is meaningless. Our first hotel visit was a night in posh room on the executive floor of Chicago's Palmer House Hilton. My partner had a conference. As we put E to bed at 7 that evening, it dawned upon us that we had nowhere to go and, our child being a light sleeper, we would neither be able to turn on the light nor the television without waking her. My partner went off to a cafe to work on his presentation while I sat in the dark, then moved to the bathroom to read, and then watched television very quietly until it woke E.
Since then we have either stayed with friends or rented suites. Here in Montreal we find ourselves in a fully-equipped 1 bedroom apartment in Hotel La Tour Centreville. The hotel is in a fabulous location just 2 blocks from the IGA (also something that counts for a great deal when traveling with a child ) and just 2 blocks from the conference site. It's nothing fancy. The appliance in the kitchen are old - that mustard color that they stopped making years ago. There are about 10 too many layers of paint on evertyhing and the color scheme leaves much to be desired. However, E can scoot around to her heart's content and she can spill her food without me feeling like we are trashing the place. (Maybe someday I will tell you the story of the blueberries and the 4-star hotel carpet but I am being upbeat today. Take my word for it, though, blueberries are best eaten at home.)
To top it all off, we have the unexpected perk of inexpensive wireless internet and a chinese restaurant in the lobby.
Since then we have either stayed with friends or rented suites. Here in Montreal we find ourselves in a fully-equipped 1 bedroom apartment in Hotel La Tour Centreville. The hotel is in a fabulous location just 2 blocks from the IGA (also something that counts for a great deal when traveling with a child ) and just 2 blocks from the conference site. It's nothing fancy. The appliance in the kitchen are old - that mustard color that they stopped making years ago. There are about 10 too many layers of paint on evertyhing and the color scheme leaves much to be desired. However, E can scoot around to her heart's content and she can spill her food without me feeling like we are trashing the place. (Maybe someday I will tell you the story of the blueberries and the 4-star hotel carpet but I am being upbeat today. Take my word for it, though, blueberries are best eaten at home.)
To top it all off, we have the unexpected perk of inexpensive wireless internet and a chinese restaurant in the lobby.
Tuesday, August 08, 2006
Monday, August 07, 2006
hard place and elusive balance
Yesterday we visited friends in Chicago. Close friends. Kin, really, and, as it works with family (as the previous post elucidates), the relationships are often based upon shared history and the promise of continued contact, perceptions of acceptance and support, etc. Shared interests and opinions just don't count for much with family.
I think one of the reasons I have trouble forming friendships is the fact that I grew up in such a large family network and small community network. When there are only 6 kids in your grade and you're surrounded by extended family, you don't have a lot of opportunity to engage in much interest group socializing and boundary making when it comes to friends and cliques. Even now I have a hard time figuring out who my friends or potential friends are so I generally default to the approach-everyone-and-let-them-decide strategy of discerning who might think I am worth counting as a friend (given my characteristics as well as the individual's resources for forming and maintaining relationships). I tend to offer about 4 chances unless I am totally blown off in which case the "one last chance" rule comes into effect.
Anyway, I digress. That is not what I intended to post about at all. This is what I intended to post:
Yesterday in Chicago, one of the kin we got together was Dr. D. He's basically the kin equivalent of an in-law being that he is the kin of our kin. Dr. D has his own sad story which I may tell some day but suffice it to say for present purposes that he is an elitist and quite sexist. Over the years I have tolerated these flaws without comment but lately it's grating on me. The big issue is that he clearly dismisses me as anything but a brainless child-producing organism. For example, when we first saw him yesterday he and my partner exchanged their usual pleasantries:
"Dr."
"Counselor."
and then engaged in a lengthy discussion in which Dr. D asked my partner a great many questions about how his work was going, what research he was working on, etc. Some time later Dr. D turned to me and said, "How's it going, Mommy?" Not really waiting for a response, he turned to E to tell her how darling she is. We've had conversations in which I basically had to bully my way in saying something along the lines of, "You know, this is actually my area and I would like to make a contribution to this conversation if you think you can comprehend the wisdom of a social scientist."
Of course, it works the other way too. When E was quite young I would bring her to campus for my dissertation group and meetings with my advisors. Often I would bump into folks from the program and the first thing out of their mouths was "How is the dissertation going?" I took offense that folks would see my standing there with my new baby and not recognize that my dissertation wasn't really a priority at the moment. I felt like they were implicitly critical of my decision to rear a child.
So, yeah, damned if you do and damned if you don't I guess.
I think one of the reasons I have trouble forming friendships is the fact that I grew up in such a large family network and small community network. When there are only 6 kids in your grade and you're surrounded by extended family, you don't have a lot of opportunity to engage in much interest group socializing and boundary making when it comes to friends and cliques. Even now I have a hard time figuring out who my friends or potential friends are so I generally default to the approach-everyone-and-let-them-decide strategy of discerning who might think I am worth counting as a friend (given my characteristics as well as the individual's resources for forming and maintaining relationships). I tend to offer about 4 chances unless I am totally blown off in which case the "one last chance" rule comes into effect.
Anyway, I digress. That is not what I intended to post about at all. This is what I intended to post:
Yesterday in Chicago, one of the kin we got together was Dr. D. He's basically the kin equivalent of an in-law being that he is the kin of our kin. Dr. D has his own sad story which I may tell some day but suffice it to say for present purposes that he is an elitist and quite sexist. Over the years I have tolerated these flaws without comment but lately it's grating on me. The big issue is that he clearly dismisses me as anything but a brainless child-producing organism. For example, when we first saw him yesterday he and my partner exchanged their usual pleasantries:
"Dr."
"Counselor."
and then engaged in a lengthy discussion in which Dr. D asked my partner a great many questions about how his work was going, what research he was working on, etc. Some time later Dr. D turned to me and said, "How's it going, Mommy?" Not really waiting for a response, he turned to E to tell her how darling she is. We've had conversations in which I basically had to bully my way in saying something along the lines of, "You know, this is actually my area and I would like to make a contribution to this conversation if you think you can comprehend the wisdom of a social scientist."
Of course, it works the other way too. When E was quite young I would bring her to campus for my dissertation group and meetings with my advisors. Often I would bump into folks from the program and the first thing out of their mouths was "How is the dissertation going?" I took offense that folks would see my standing there with my new baby and not recognize that my dissertation wasn't really a priority at the moment. I felt like they were implicitly critical of my decision to rear a child.
So, yeah, damned if you do and damned if you don't I guess.
Saturday, August 05, 2006
[]
i was just perusing the asa schedule and found at least 2 other students doing similar work. their cvs kick my cv's ass. fortunately, my cv is not publicly available so, when they receive my email requesting to get together at the meeting, they won't be able to google me and find out how awful i am.
who am i kidding? i'll never get a job. i really think i would be happy being a mom and working at the hunger task force or the humane society or the peace coalition or the urban ecology center. i mean, i really love teaching and consuming research and i have ideas for projects all the time but i really don't think i have what it takes to BE that person. you know what i mean?
who am i kidding? i'll never get a job. i really think i would be happy being a mom and working at the hunger task force or the humane society or the peace coalition or the urban ecology center. i mean, i really love teaching and consuming research and i have ideas for projects all the time but i really don't think i have what it takes to BE that person. you know what i mean?
Friday, August 04, 2006
Alleluia and Amen
I was minding my own business reading the newspaper from my field site when I happened across this story discussing my island home.
The island is home to all manner of people so I don't begrudge folks a Baptist Church and even a visit from Falwell himself. However, it is all particularly horrifying to me because this is the church that my dad has taken to attending with his new wife even if he does roll his eyes and claim that he is still a Catholic and even if he does side with the "liberal faction" in the family when we are discussing everything but homosexuality. There are some things about Mary and their relationship resulting in disquiet for me. Up to this point I have chosen to turn a blind eye because, quite frankly, I am overjoyed to see my dad happy and cared for and am willing to tolerate a whole lot of woohaa as long as that is the case. And, of course, there is the fact that my dad and Mary are all I've got and, although I used to be able to give my dad a dressing down when I deemed it necessary, I'm not sure that I've got the pull these days to get any more an invitation to show myself out.
The island is home to all manner of people so I don't begrudge folks a Baptist Church and even a visit from Falwell himself. However, it is all particularly horrifying to me because this is the church that my dad has taken to attending with his new wife even if he does roll his eyes and claim that he is still a Catholic and even if he does side with the "liberal faction" in the family when we are discussing everything but homosexuality. There are some things about Mary and their relationship resulting in disquiet for me. Up to this point I have chosen to turn a blind eye because, quite frankly, I am overjoyed to see my dad happy and cared for and am willing to tolerate a whole lot of woohaa as long as that is the case. And, of course, there is the fact that my dad and Mary are all I've got and, although I used to be able to give my dad a dressing down when I deemed it necessary, I'm not sure that I've got the pull these days to get any more an invitation to show myself out.
Thursday, August 03, 2006
throwback
Finally saw X3 yesterday. I liked it. I think they tried to do a little too much. I mean, you just can't get everything in there, you know, even if true fans get frustrated by neglected characters and plot lines. At any rate, I think Marvel has done pretty well bringing their comic books to the big screen. Mostly, however, if I'm going to see an action film, I would opt for a Marvel or other comic book adaptation pretty much every time because the plot and characters are so much richer than your average clicheed (imagine there was an accent OK) action film and heroes/villains.
Case in point, we rented "The Island." It was awful.
Anyway, that trip to the movies occurred during designated work time. We had our regular Wednesday afternoon childcare and instead of going to our respective offices we went for a really nice and insanely inexpensive lunch and followed it up with a trip to the budget movie theater. So, our entire afternoon out would have cost only $16.50 if it weren't for the $45 child care surcharge.
Case in point, we rented "The Island." It was awful.
Anyway, that trip to the movies occurred during designated work time. We had our regular Wednesday afternoon childcare and instead of going to our respective offices we went for a really nice and insanely inexpensive lunch and followed it up with a trip to the budget movie theater. So, our entire afternoon out would have cost only $16.50 if it weren't for the $45 child care surcharge.
Monday, July 31, 2006
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