so far so good

Someday in the next 18 years I will find the time to tell you all about birthing a baby or, at the very least, to tell you what personal volition and the blessed blend of hormones coursing through one's body during childbirth see that I remember and deem appropriate for public consumption.

But in the meantime there is this little one:
name: E.
birthdate: 8/28/05
weight: 7 lbs 11 oz
height: 20 inches


my daughter E.

Remember, you heard it here, folks

Islander recommends the following to induce labor:
1. A one-hour prenatal massage in which the massage therapist pays significant, although not exclusive, attention to labor-inducing pressure points.
FOLLOWED BY
2. A stinky cheese dinner. Namely,

Islander's very own radicchio and fettucine in tomato gorgonzola alfredo

1. Cook one pound fettucine until slightly undercooked. Rinse and set aside.
2. In a large sautee pan, heat 2 TBSP olive oil over med heat.
3. Add 2-3 cloves chopped garlic and sautee.
4. Stir in 1 large fresh tomato or 3-4 roma tomatoes, chopped and peeled (unless you're too lazy for peeling). Make sure to include any liquid on the cutting board.
5. Immediately add 1 or 2 heads of radicchio, thinly sliced. Sautee until the radicchio wilts (about 2 minutes).
6. Stir in 1 pint of half and half (or heavy cream if you're a purist or nonfat evaporated milk if you are particularly fat conscious) and 1/2 cup vegetable broth. Simmer until the liquid thickens (about 10 minutes).
7. Add 6 - 8 oz. of crumbled gorgonzola cheese. Remember, it smells worse than it will taste so don't skimp!
8. Once the gorgonzola is melted, stir in fettucine and cook until the liquid is absorbed and the fettucine is al dente.
9. OPTIONAL but, who knows, it could be the ingredient that puts you over the top and you barely taste it anyway: Add 1 tsp of caraway seed.
10. Salt and pepper to taste. Serve immediately.

Royal Treatment and the Motherboard

Still having problems with the desktop. They sent someone out to replace the power supply yesterday but that, apparently, is not the issue since the computer has conked out without warning 4 times in the 18 hours since the technician left. I called again and they're sending someone out to replace the motherboard. This is blogworthy for 2 reasons:
1. Somehow, although the email confirmations of service that they are sending are being sent to me, the first was addressed to Jason [my last name here]. I guess this isn't too odd since my partner called in the issue and his name is Jason even if his last name is not my own. Today, however, the email was addressed to PAUL LISS. Who are you Paul and how did you come to share my email address?
2. I bought this computer through the department with my grant. Apparently this gets you extra special treatment from Dell. They said that, since I bought it on an academic account, they don't need to run through all the troubleshooting rigmarole that they do with normal humans (you know, when they have you sitting in your study with a crick in your neck from the phone taking your computer apart and you ask them to assure you again and again as you look in horror at the various pieces of hardware on the floor that you won't lose any data). Instead, they can just keep replacing parts until the bugger works the way I want it to. I'm having a glimpse, my friends, of the way life works on the other side of the dissertation and I like what I see.

Sometimes you've just got to love Enya

From Anywhere Is

I wonder if the stars sign
The life that is to be mine
And would they let their light shine
Enough for me to follow
I look up to the heavens
But night has clouded over
No spark of constellation
No Vela no Orion
[...]
The shells upon the warm sands
Have taken from their own lands
The echo of their story
But all I hear are low sounds
As pillow words are weaving
And willow waves are leaving
But should I be believing
That I am only dreaming

Exhibit: Attempt at telling family to leave me alone already without hurting any feelings

Hello everyone.

Thanks for all the phone calls. It really means a great deal to me that you are all anticipating the arrival of the newest family member. Believe me, there probably isn't anyone more excited than I am! Not only would I like to meet the peanut, I would like to have my body back!

Sorry I haven't gotten a chance to get back to all of you but the phone has been ringing off the hook for the last week or so with people "checking in" and sometimes by the end of the night I am too tired to talk to folks about how I haven't had the baby yet. As you can imagine, it is a little frustrating to know that, supposedly, a baby is coming sometime soon but to have no idea when. I understand why some people opt for elective induction of labor, that way you know what day you're headed to the hospital and aren't climbing the walls in anticipation and frustration.

Anyway, don't worry. As soon as the little one puts in an appearance, you'll be the first people we call. But remember, it could be a while...

I hope that you are all doing well.

Your Sis

a little update

1. We ended up seeing Broken Flowers in my neighborhood. We both liked the movie.
2. I did "dare to be great" with my baking and it worked out just fine. I made daffodil cake, a marbled angel food cake. The yellow marble is flavored with orange juice and the icing is orange as well.

daffodil cake
3. My doctor said that she recently heard that fresh pineapple helps bring on labor so that's what I had for dessert this evening. Amazingly, I've spent my entire life believing that I don't like pineapple when, in fact, it is quite tasty. I guess in the past I've always had the canned stuff. Or, perhaps, I had it in the wrong context - on pizza or in a fruit salad instead of plain.
4. Yesterday someone told me that shrimp also helps to bring on labor. Although I am unwilling to eat whole shrimp, I did eat a Thai red curry for dinner that contains shrimp paste.
5. Naturally, any other absurd labor-inducing tips are welcome.

Oh, brother.

One of the wonderful thing about having so many siblings is that someone is always doing something noteworthy or frustrating or, at the very least, worth a chuckle. This week it was my mild-mannered-computer-programmer-by-day-rock-star-by-night brother who entertained us all. He attended a social event in Chicago and managed to land himself in the style section of one of the city's hipster rags.

can't buy a bucket

This morning I weeded vigorously to see if I might shake the baby loose. No contractions yet. This was upon the advice of a cousin who told me that my grandmother always used to say that she managed to induce labor (all 13 times!) by engaging in exhausting housework - rearranging the furniture, washing down the walls, etc. I went for weeding and then intended to clean out and clean the fridge but, alas, when I came inside I decided to catch my breath for a few minutes and check my email. It is then I learned that my desktop has died or, at least, is in a coma.

I followed all the advice Dell offers on their website but no luck. Apparently it is a power problem I am having so my partner is bringing a spare dell power cord home from work as a last resort. If that doesn't work, I'll have to get it serviced. Naturally, some of my work is not backed-up anywhere else. Naturally, the last thing I want to imagine myself doing tomorrow is driving a computer to Madison.

So, yeah, thankfully Martine is coming to town in a bit and we're getting together for lunch because otherwise I am fairly certain I would spend the entire afternoon crying about how I am completely at the mercy of the fates. I was planning to bake an angel food cake for my partner's birthday (it's tomorrow). But, with the way that things are going today, perhaps I should skip the "dare to be great" angel food recipe and go for a sure thing like peanut butter cookies.

movie night

I have finally met someone in Milwaukee with long-term friendship potential. This is not to say that there aren't a lot of potential friends walking around or that I don't have some "starter friendships," only that my life is not organized in such a way that I get to meet a lot of people in general. Thus, meeting potential kindred spirits occurs even more infrequently.

So, anyway, this person is great and so nice that she invited me out to a movie. She had her baby ages after the due date and understands how caged one can feel in the final weeks. All summer I've been wanting to see "Mad Hot Ballroom" and she agreed to see it but it turns out that it isn't showing on Tuesday night. I recommended "The Beautiful Country" with the caveat that it might be a bit heavy. She countered with "Wedding Crashers" and "40-Year-Old Virgin."

So, here's the thing, I've spoken before about my distaste for bad movies. I am generally amazed that the movie industry knows they can make idiotic shit films and still turn a buck on them and the idea that I would blow $8 to see some crappy movie kills me. I end up doing it anyway, of course, because I want to hang out with folks. But you don't really socialize at a movie you just sit there. Monster-in-Law is just the most recent example of time and money wasted in the interest of fostering or maintaining friendships.

On top of that, both of those movies are showing at theaters outside of the downtown/eastside area of the city. This means that I would have to drive instead of walking or taking the bus. I LOATHE driving which is precisely why I moved to an area of the city where I can walk to the movies, bookstore, supermarket, etc.

So, in conclusion, I am difficult and a snob.

Harrowing experience

Where have I been? you ask.
Well, don't worry, I've haven't been doing anything so productive as having a baby or even getting work done. No, I have been WITHOUT INTERNET since Friday night/Saturday morning. You cannot imagine how an inability to while the hours away online makes my current waiting game all the more tortuous.
This morning Time Warner called out the big guns, you know the important people who fix serious problems with the service and, consequently, only work during regular business hours, and got me up and running again.
Hallelujah, I say, hallelujah.

Book Review: White Like Me by Tim Wise

This little book is written by a well-known anti-racism activist and speaker. Tim Wise reflects on his own experiences as a white male to make a case for the existence of white privilege and to suggest that white folks have an interest in doing something about it. The book isn't academic in the least and I, for one, feel that it would be a more convincing text for those who aren't already inclined to agree with Wise's perspective if he referenced some of the data on prejudice and discrimination to shore up his anecdotes (yes, yes, I know statistics don't move people but STILL...). It's not that the episodes he recounts aren't compelling, it's just that when you fail to supersede discussion of personal experiences you cannot argue that an individual's experiences, for example, of reverse discrimination do not have the same impact that white privilege does.

Although I am not sure that I would assign the book to undergrads, I am definitely going to snark some of Wise's material when I teach Race & Ethnicity. Most helpful to me personally was Wise's discussion of how to deal with "white bonding" - when folks tell racist jokes, etc., to other white people- and his argument that it is counterproductive for white folks to be motivated in their anti-racist activism by a desire to help people of color. Instead, they should be motivated by self interest. We must all confront racism, he argues, because of what it does to our psyches and our communities no matter how white.

Anyway, by all means read it if you are into this kind of thing, if you aren't familiar with the white privilege stuff but think a new perspective might benefit you, or you are trying to figure out how to deal with those pesky students in your Race & Ethnicity lecture.

yes, yes, I am still here and still very expectant.

Holding pattern

Word to the wise:

You have a friend who is VERY pregnant. By all means call her and ask her if she wants to get together because she is probably climbing the walls. She cannot concentrate on anything. She's accumulated everything she needs. She's filled the freezer with meals that just need to be reheated. She's organized all the drawers and cupboards. She's got 5 different books going so she can switch between them when her mind begins to wander.

She's starting to feel that she will be pregnant for the rest of her life and just wants that baby out and, yet, she is completely terrified at the thought of such a dramatic life change. As she climbs in to bed every evening she thinks to herself, "This might have been my last night without a baby." Eating out she opines, "This might be the last time I get to eat out without worrying about keeping the baby happy and quiet." Then, just as certainly as she is a little sad that her life could be drastically different by morning, she is worried that her life will not be different at all. "I could go on like this for enough 2 1/2 weeks and still be under the curve," she thinks to herself with horror.

So, as I said, by all means give her a call to shoot the breeze or ask her if she wants to get together but don't ask her if she's still pregnant or to refresh your memory as to her due date. Don't comment (unsolicited, anyway) that it looks like "the baby's dropped" or hasn't or whatever. Distract her from her pregnant state. It's already more real than anything ever has been.

"It's mine! God gave it to me!"

For a little more on how God's will is indistinguishable from "might makes right" - from Times coverage of folks resisting the Gaza pull-out:

Israel's withdrawal from Gaza and four smaller settlements in the West Bank marks the first time that Israel will pull out of areas that were conquered in the 1967 war and are considered by the Palestinians to be a part of a future state. But many of the settlers here regard Gaza as part of the biblical land of Israel granted to the Jews by God, and the pullout as a betrayal of its finest citizens by the state.

Reborn!

I went to bed at 8:30 last night, woke up hungry at 5:30, went downstairs for a few spoonfuls of yogurt and a glass of water, returned to bed, lay awake for about an hour, and just when I decided that I was going to get up and enjoy the early morning, fell asleep until 9 a.m.

Today I feel like a whole new woman! You should have seen me swimming my laps at the gym. I feel so good today that I don't care if this kid decides that s/he wants to stay put long enough to start school by correspondence.

God says

From The Times yesterday, "Lutherans Reject Easing Gay Clergy Rules:"

The Rev. G. Scott Cady of the New England Synod said rejecting gays who feel a call to ministry was tantamount to questioning the will of God.
''We have vacant pulpits and altars in congregations all over this country, We have people crying out for pastoral care,'' he said. ''The Holy Spirit has said, `All right, here they are. Here they are.' Are we going to now say, `Thanks Holy Spirit, but we prefer something else.'''

This quote strikes me because my conservative christian brother, a fringe member of the liberal ELCA (go figure, I know, I was hoping this vote would go the other way so he would have to move to a more conservative synod), would have said nearly the same thing if they'd voted to allow gay clergy. One of the things about "faith" that gets me is the extent to which folks feel they need to act as if it is "God's will" that they are doing while refusing to acknowledge that what precisely "God's will" is doesn't seem to be patently obvious, is often a subject of disagreement, and that their personal understanding of God's will is frequently strangely in tune with their own preferences and desires. For instance, Rev. Cady clearly believes that gays in his church want to be ministers because it is God's will. My brother believes that gays will "burn in the fiery pits of hell" (let's ignore the fact that hell isn't particularly biblical) and, thus, any homosexual who thinks it is God's will that they serve as a minister is either very mistaken or, even more likely, working for Satan. In cases where there is a vote on church doctrine, I find myself all the more puzzled - wondering how we know the difference between "God's will" and the tyranny of the majority.

That's your child!

You know how parents have a tendency to point out when their child is not theirs? "That's YOUR son/daughter." usually comes into play when a parent believes the child is exhibiting behaviors that could only be the result of the 50% of genetic information that the disclaiming parent did not contribute. A sociologist by training, I question the extent to which we can cite biology as the sole cause of behavioral characteristics. However, I begin to hope that I am wrong.

You see, my partner likes to do everything early. He revels in living ahead of schedule. He finishes his papers days before his own already overly optimistically scheduled completion date. When we go on a driving vacation, he always tries to get me to leave for the trip the night before we planned and to return early as well. When flying, he frequently shows up at the airport hours early and talks his way on to an earlier flight. He finished college early, he entered the academic job market ahead of schedule, etc.

This penchant for precocity (or "jumping the gun" as I refer to it when it causes trouble), is not something I possess. I like to be right on time, perhaps even flying in under the wire. No need to do things early, I say, because circumstances change and the next thing you know you've created more work for yourself. This is frequently the case when it comes to things like packing your bags for a trip or doing your taxes, but I must say that I do benefit from my partner's desire to be ahead of schedule when it comes to work.

So, my doctor has now returned from a week's vacation. I AM READY. Each morning as I pull on one of the 2 pairs of shorts and 5 shirts that fit, as I struggle to bend down and see what is on the lower shelf of the fridge at lunch, as I treat the blisters that my shoes leave on my swollen feet, I think to myself, "Please, kid, be your father's child."

Jane says

I am reading some Jane Addams right now - doing some thinking/writing about class and race privelege in reaction to "the transmission of poverty" school of thought. I've always thought it fairly peculiar that I did not come across her writings until my graduate training in sociology (in a seminar on American Pragmatism). Had they been introduced to me while I was working on my first masters' at the University of Chicago School of Social Service Administration, I might not have jumped ship on social work. However, I suppose they did not have us read Addams for the same reason that I jumped ship: the predominance of the clinical/professional model of social work in which the client and not the context is seen as that which should be treated.

Anyway, a couple of quotes from "The Subjective Necessity of Social Settlements:"

"[T]he paradox is here: when cultivated people do stay away from a certain portion of the population, when all social advantages are persistently withheld, it may be for years, the result itself is pointed at as a reason, is used as an argument, for the continued withholding."

this one I particularly like-
"We are all uncomfortable in regard to the sincerity of our best phrases, because we hesitate to translate our philosophy into the deed."

Pasta v. Noodle

I make one particular fettucine dish a great deal over the summer. It contains fettucine (cracked pepper and spinach mixed is best), marinated artichoke hearts, feta, avocado, carrot, red onion, asparagus, and sun-dried tomatoes. I dress it with a balsamic vinaigrette. It refrigerates well and is a real crowd pleaser at picnics and potlucks. My partner refers to this lovely dish as "noodle salad." To which I invariably respond huffily, "It's not noodle salad, it's a fettucine toss or, if you must, PASTA salad." My partner snickers and says with a pompous accent, "Ah, yes, pasta."
Last night we made zucchini and eggplant parmagiana with whole wheat spaghetti on the side. As he was setting up our plates, my partner queried, "How many noodles would you like?"
OK, here is the thing, it is hot and I am walking along with 7-9 pounds of baby under my skin. I am short-tempered and likely to fly off the handle at any moment.
"For god's sake, I don't want any noodles! I would like a small serving of spaghetti! It's PASTA!"
Fortunately my partner, who has grown accustomed to my outbursts, took my obvious emotional upheaval in stride. "When is it pasta and when is it noodles?" he rejoined.

Thus, our dinner conversation turned to decision rules on pasta and noodles. We concluded the following:
1. Both noodles and pasta consist in the main of flour (not only wheat), water and salt cooked in water. Noodles refer to this combination of ingredients in Asian or Asian fusion cooking and in the case of egg noodles. Pasta refers to this combination in Italian-derived and most American cooking.
2. When possible refer to the particular pasta/noodle by name (e.g. fusili, lo mein, rice stick noodle, macaroni).
3. When in doubt as to classification as pasta or noodle, be guided by the name. Macaroni=pasta chow fun=noodle egg noodle=noodle penne=pasta.

pathological

And the life-time achievement award for the sociological turn of speech that does more harm than good goes to
The Intergenerational Transmission of Poverty!

Book Review: Artemis Fowl by Eoin Colfer

A friend recommended Artemis Fowl, claiming that the series was fun and similar in many respects to the Rowling books. So, the other day while I was cooling off in the wading pool, I read it.

Artemis Fowl is a 12-year-old criminal mastermind, the youngest member of a wealthy old family of criminals. His father was lost at sea over a year ago and his mother's grief has led her into insanity. Artemis, spurred on the emotional upheaval in his family, hatches a plot to steal fairy gold in order to restore depleted family riches and (perhaps?) be granted a wish. Once Artemis takes action, Colfer shifts our attention to fairyland, and to the adventures of Captain Holly Short (assigned to LEP recon, get it?) and a small cast of characters working to derail Artemis' nefarious plot and repair the breach Artemis creates between the magical and human worlds.

The first of a growing series, Artemis Fowl attempts to provide the intricately woven plots and detailed world of the Potter series coupled with the wit of Lemony Snickett's Series of Unfortunate Events. Unfortunately, the book fails on both counts. Although the premise has potential, the creativity Colfer employed in developing it is largely absent from the book itself. Character development is minimal. For the most part Colfer's characters never depart from the stereotypes he uses to construct them. The pace of the book is quite uneven, at times the storyline drags while at others circumstances with tremendous potential for development are resolved in a sentence or two. Although there is plenty of material for witty commentary on the part of the intermittently present narrator, for the most part the narrator does little but make toilet jokes and point out upcoming twists in the plot.

This book isn't particularly worthwhile so I don't recommend spending the couple of hours it takes to read it unless you're killing time at the airport or something along those lines.

what's in a name? (Part II)

Last night I dreamt it was a boy and my partner came up with the name Ran'Ulf or something like that, which he derived from Stargate SG-1 (don't ask me to explain, not only was it a dream, I don't follow SG-1). I was horrified by the name, absolutely horrified.

Martine's questions

Here are my responses to Martine's questions:
1. what is something you'd like to do before you die?
Move back to the island.
2. what is something you likely won't do before you die that you think you might regret not doing, but at the same time don't necessarily plan on actually doing?
Hike the appalachain trail.
3. what is something that you thought you'd like to do before you die, but it turns out it probably isn't that a big a deal to you whether you do it or not?
Write a novel.
4. are you someone who is more likely to regret doing something or regret not doing something? Not doing.
5. what is something you'd like to do before you die and are likely to do soon?
Have/raise a child.

Expectant

She pointed diagonally across the parking lot, indicating the shortcut which departed from the tree-lined sidewalk and traversed the steaming black-top of the lot. “Walk that way to save yourself some steps.” It sounded to me like an order, not a recommendation. As I complied she looked at me seriously, “You should have a hat on.” I walked on in silence.

Pregnancy is an illuminating experience.

My expectant state seems to inspire goodwill and even happiness in many people on the city streets who look me in the eye, smile, and often even say hello as if I am more noteworthy than the other people walking past, someone to be acknowledged, perhaps even more than just a singular someone. Although sometimes I want to be as invisible as everyone else, I do not mind the smiles.

Others see me as infirm, someone whose mental capacity has dwindled in step with her belly’s expansion. I must be directed across parking lots, told what to wear, what to eat and when to rest. “You should not be carrying that bag.” “You should have stopped exercising months ago.” “It is too hot for you to be outside.” Even as a child, I never took kindly to outside direction. Now an adult, I positively bristle with anger when I receive unsolicited direction, not friendly advice, direction from people whose authority is suspect.

If what I saw at my own baby shower this weekend is any indication, having the baby won’t deliver me from being ordered about. My friend, Anna, hosting the shower has a three-month-old baby herself. My partner’s grandmother began issuing commands as soon as she and Anna were introduced.
“That baby is dressed too warmly.”
“You shouldn’t hold her so much.”
“You need to let her cry.”
“If she eats every 2 hours, then she isn’t getting enough food. You need to start her on solids.”
Shocked that anyone would suggest that Anna’s baby, who is as big as the average baby 2 months her senior and covered with rolls of fat, was ill-nourished, and fearing that Anna was about to cry as a result of the continuous attack on her parenting, I interrupted.
“Actually, Grandma, they say that you are supposed to stick to breastfeeding for the first 4-6 months. Even after that most of the nutrition for the first year is supposed to come from breastfeeding or formula with solid food being introduced gradually.”
Grandma snorts. She is the depository of the wisdom of the ages. “That’s just a fad. If you want to sleep through the night you need to give them cereal, but it sounds like you’re against giving cereal.”
“It’s not me. It’s the World Health Organization, the American Association of Pediatricians, the American Medical Association…”
“Those doctors don’t know what they’re talking about."
"Well... the research shows.."
"You read too much.”

Basket case

You think I've got it under control, do you?
Well, I've got news for you because it's atomic magnetism, not will, skill, or even luck, that keeps me from falling apart.

1. I am the worst RA of all time and soon the entire State of Wisconsin will be aware of how awful I really am.
2. Midsummer head colds suck.
3. You know how I always swore that I wouldn't allow myself to worry about those things my parents always worried about? How I always said that there were more important things than, well, things? Here I am worrying.
4. I carry most of my tension in my jaw and shoulders - hence the mouthguard when I sleep to save what remains of my teeth and help my TMJ. Days like today insure that I have ground my teeth down plenty before I even hit the sack.