diaper bank
Sunday, July 31, 2005
Saturday, July 30, 2005
words of encouragement
To all you prelimmers out there, even though I know that you are studying and unlikely to read this post before the event, I wish the best of luck on that heinous exam.
Pending Child, Pending Chaos
My dad is a funny one. It seems to me that he has never really been comfortable with the advisory aspect of the fatherhood role, preferring instead to use encouragement and, perhaps a bit more frequently, shame to move his children in what he feels is the right direction. In rare instances when he is actually concerned enough to issue some kind of warning or advice, he generally resorts to the parable or bottles up his concerns for so long that he ends up blurting them out in the most negative hurtful way possible. I have been working with my dad on this. When he speaks to me about his concerns regarding my siblings, I talk to him about how he might productively share his advice and experience with that sibling. I encourage him to frame the discussion in terms of his own experience - how did he learn what he thinks his child should know?
As a result of all of this, I appreciated this recent conversation with my dad.
"Are you ready for the baby?"
"Well, I guess so. I'm not sure how ready you can be for the inconceivable. We've just done a lot of reading and are trying to accumulate the necessary stuff and all that."
"You know, when I was a new parent, it was quite a shock for me to loose so much control of my life. The two of you are people who always have situations under control and I just want you to realize all of that is about to change. I worry that it will be difficult for you."
"Thanks, dad. I've already got an inkling of that even just noticing all the clutter and the worrying and all the extra responsibilities and we don't even have a baby yet."
"Well, that's just how it is so make sure that you take it easy on yourself."
"Yes, sir, and may I say that you did an excellent job imparting those words of wisdom!"
As a result of all of this, I appreciated this recent conversation with my dad.
"Are you ready for the baby?"
"Well, I guess so. I'm not sure how ready you can be for the inconceivable. We've just done a lot of reading and are trying to accumulate the necessary stuff and all that."
"You know, when I was a new parent, it was quite a shock for me to loose so much control of my life. The two of you are people who always have situations under control and I just want you to realize all of that is about to change. I worry that it will be difficult for you."
"Thanks, dad. I've already got an inkling of that even just noticing all the clutter and the worrying and all the extra responsibilities and we don't even have a baby yet."
"Well, that's just how it is so make sure that you take it easy on yourself."
"Yes, sir, and may I say that you did an excellent job imparting those words of wisdom!"
Friday, July 29, 2005
What's in a region?
The JFW community seems to be having a grand old time discussing the cache Midwestern origins may have in Boston-area dating game. It is an odd discussion for a couple of reasons.
Jeremy's post is primarily concerned with what he should do about his car. He states that folks have suggested a lack of wheels will limit his dating prospects. This is a preposterous suggestion. Many people who manage to get lucky all the time in Boston do so without the benefits of car ownership because many Boston residents do not own cars. Boston has about the most comprehensive and convenient mass transit system in the country. The city is not designed for the automobile. Just one example - if you want to take your date to Fenway for a game, you will quickly learn that, even if you have a car, you should not drive to the game. On the sox website they tell you not to drive. Perhaps, if you have always lived in places where cars are a necessity, then it is difficult to believe that there are places in which cars are not only unnecessary, but, in fact, a nuisance. Boston is one of those places. Just one nuisance example- Boston gets much more snow than Madison and the design of the city makes snow plowing and removal extremely difficult. Not only do you have to worry about finding street parking, you need to deal with an informal system of winter parking space ownership in which folks who shovel out spots designate those spots as their own (using cones, signs, etc).
On the value of Midwestern roots in dating: It should first be noted that most people who have lived their lives on the east coast don't even know the term Midwest (referring to Wisconsin as "out west" or something similar), don't really know anything about what life is like off the seaboard, and don't really think it is important that they find out. They have never given the "interior" much thought because it never occurs to them that it is so different from their own world (the same way that folks who have always lived in areas developed for automobile use don't realize that some places are not that way). I think that most Americans think that the part of the country they live in is quitessentially American and regional differences come as a shock.* There is not much that draws people out to spend a great deal of time doing more than driving through much of middle America outside of Chicago while the distribution of cities, universities, etc, makes it more likely folks from the Midwest get "out east" at some point or another.
As an east-coaster(which, actually, is as false an appellation as referring to everything west of Philly as out west) who has spent much of her adult life in Chicago and Wisconsin, I have observed that the folks who seem to make the most of Midwestern/East Coast differences are Midwesterners themselves. My partner's Midwestern family disdain my vegetarianism and cooking with "fancy"and "spicy" ingredients like pesto and garlic and attribute it to the fact that I'm from the east while, in fact, my been-in-New-England-since-the-white-folks-started-coming family also wishes my diet and cooking were a little more "normal." I was surprised when long-time friends from Madison (originally from Greenbay and outside of Minneapolis) visiting us in Portland last summer reacted with obvious disdain to people they encountered on the street who looked "stereotypically" east coast (e.g. were wearing white shorts and boat shoes and boat hats, etc). Almost every time we came across such people, one of them would make an ugly face and comment about how they must be a Kennedy, wonder aloud what time their next polo match was, or make some comment about how they have probably never been to a Menard's. I finally told them that they were offending me, that the folks they were ridiculing didn't do anything to deserve their disdain and, likely, did not even reciprocate it.
What's the point here? I'm not quite sure. Let me try to sum up:
1. When in Rome - in order to really experience a new place, one should endeavor to live life as the folks who live there live. That way, instead of feeling animosity toward a place and people because of all the ways in which your own taken-for-granted ways of doing things don't work there, you come to recognize and appreciate another orderly way in which life works.
2. Don't vilify people on the east coast for not taking a great deal of interest in the Midwest. For the most part it's simple ignorance. It may be painful to realize that folks think roots or even an entire region are insignificant but, likely, many of us experience similar situations frequently: when our relatives call us teachers instead of professors; folks don't want to talk about our research interests because they have no practical value; or people observe our work flexibility and comment that it is about time we "get a job."
*even the folks from Manhattan are surprised by some of the taken-for-granted things that are lost when they leave the island.
Jeremy's post is primarily concerned with what he should do about his car. He states that folks have suggested a lack of wheels will limit his dating prospects. This is a preposterous suggestion. Many people who manage to get lucky all the time in Boston do so without the benefits of car ownership because many Boston residents do not own cars. Boston has about the most comprehensive and convenient mass transit system in the country. The city is not designed for the automobile. Just one example - if you want to take your date to Fenway for a game, you will quickly learn that, even if you have a car, you should not drive to the game. On the sox website they tell you not to drive. Perhaps, if you have always lived in places where cars are a necessity, then it is difficult to believe that there are places in which cars are not only unnecessary, but, in fact, a nuisance. Boston is one of those places. Just one nuisance example- Boston gets much more snow than Madison and the design of the city makes snow plowing and removal extremely difficult. Not only do you have to worry about finding street parking, you need to deal with an informal system of winter parking space ownership in which folks who shovel out spots designate those spots as their own (using cones, signs, etc).
On the value of Midwestern roots in dating: It should first be noted that most people who have lived their lives on the east coast don't even know the term Midwest (referring to Wisconsin as "out west" or something similar), don't really know anything about what life is like off the seaboard, and don't really think it is important that they find out. They have never given the "interior" much thought because it never occurs to them that it is so different from their own world (the same way that folks who have always lived in areas developed for automobile use don't realize that some places are not that way). I think that most Americans think that the part of the country they live in is quitessentially American and regional differences come as a shock.* There is not much that draws people out to spend a great deal of time doing more than driving through much of middle America outside of Chicago while the distribution of cities, universities, etc, makes it more likely folks from the Midwest get "out east" at some point or another.
As an east-coaster(which, actually, is as false an appellation as referring to everything west of Philly as out west) who has spent much of her adult life in Chicago and Wisconsin, I have observed that the folks who seem to make the most of Midwestern/East Coast differences are Midwesterners themselves. My partner's Midwestern family disdain my vegetarianism and cooking with "fancy"and "spicy" ingredients like pesto and garlic and attribute it to the fact that I'm from the east while, in fact, my been-in-New-England-since-the-white-folks-started-coming family also wishes my diet and cooking were a little more "normal." I was surprised when long-time friends from Madison (originally from Greenbay and outside of Minneapolis) visiting us in Portland last summer reacted with obvious disdain to people they encountered on the street who looked "stereotypically" east coast (e.g. were wearing white shorts and boat shoes and boat hats, etc). Almost every time we came across such people, one of them would make an ugly face and comment about how they must be a Kennedy, wonder aloud what time their next polo match was, or make some comment about how they have probably never been to a Menard's. I finally told them that they were offending me, that the folks they were ridiculing didn't do anything to deserve their disdain and, likely, did not even reciprocate it.
What's the point here? I'm not quite sure. Let me try to sum up:
1. When in Rome - in order to really experience a new place, one should endeavor to live life as the folks who live there live. That way, instead of feeling animosity toward a place and people because of all the ways in which your own taken-for-granted ways of doing things don't work there, you come to recognize and appreciate another orderly way in which life works.
2. Don't vilify people on the east coast for not taking a great deal of interest in the Midwest. For the most part it's simple ignorance. It may be painful to realize that folks think roots or even an entire region are insignificant but, likely, many of us experience similar situations frequently: when our relatives call us teachers instead of professors; folks don't want to talk about our research interests because they have no practical value; or people observe our work flexibility and comment that it is about time we "get a job."
*even the folks from Manhattan are surprised by some of the taken-for-granted things that are lost when they leave the island.
Thursday, July 28, 2005
What's in a name?
As we don't know what flavor of baby we're getting, we need to have at least 2 names in reserve. If it's a girl, we're going to name her after my mother. If it's a boy....we've got a problem. I have 2 names that I prefer but my partner loathes one. He is OK with the other but feels there must be some "dark horse candidate" out there that will sweep us both of our feet. To that end, I have been soliciting names. This morning I received an email from a friend in Sweden with a list of popular Swedish names. Perhaps we should go with one of these?
Oscar
Anton
Emil
Alexander
Lucas
Simon
Linus
Albin
Jonathan
Isak
Gustav
Adam
Marcus
Rasmus
Sabastian
Wilmar
Leon
Melvin
Ludvig
Vincent
Elliot
Alvin
Oliver
Viggo
Nils
Sixten
Anton
Emil
Alexander
Lucas
Simon
Linus
Albin
Jonathan
Isak
Gustav
Adam
Marcus
Rasmus
Sabastian
Wilmar
Leon
Melvin
Ludvig
Vincent
Elliot
Alvin
Oliver
Viggo
Nils
Sixten
Interview
This morning I had the interview for that position I really want. I believe it went well so keep your fingers crossed. I won't hear for a couple of weeks.
Wednesday, July 27, 2005
Progress
I know you probably don't want to know but I want to tell you, OK?
My stats as of this morning
Weight gained: 19 lbs.
Inches gained: 36
Blood pressure: 100/60
Dilated: 1.5 cm
Effacement: 50%
This is all good news - especially considering that it was just as likely that I would not be dilated or effaced at all! You know what they say, don't put off until labor what you can do before it starts!
All of this good news allows me to hope that I will not be pushing through until September. It would be nice to go sooner than later.
My stats as of this morning
Weight gained: 19 lbs.
Inches gained: 36
Blood pressure: 100/60
Dilated: 1.5 cm
Effacement: 50%
This is all good news - especially considering that it was just as likely that I would not be dilated or effaced at all! You know what they say, don't put off until labor what you can do before it starts!
All of this good news allows me to hope that I will not be pushing through until September. It would be nice to go sooner than later.
Tuesday, July 26, 2005
neither here nor there
I don't really have a geographic center to my network of friends. I suppose the biggest collection of close friends is in Chicago - where I have 5 friends and 2 siblings and a whole bunch of other people that I might see every now and then at a party. Other than that, I've got folks scattered somewhat randomly across the globe. One of the difficult things about Wisconsin, be it Milwaukee or Madison, is that I have not managed to make any really close friends here or even establish a significant number of mutual friendships. I used to think that this had something to do with the fact that I haven't been around that much. Now I am beginning to think it's because I suck.
At any rate, today my friend of 16 years, Dawn, emailed to let me know that she was quitting Oxfam to return to Holland. Not too long ago a friend from the U of C, Katarina, wrote to tell me that she was coming back to Chicago from Stockholm for the fall semester. The result: no net gain in proximity to friends.
At any rate, today my friend of 16 years, Dawn, emailed to let me know that she was quitting Oxfam to return to Holland. Not too long ago a friend from the U of C, Katarina, wrote to tell me that she was coming back to Chicago from Stockholm for the fall semester. The result: no net gain in proximity to friends.
Monday, July 25, 2005
Book Review: The Devil in the White City by Erik Larson
The Devil in the White City is a surprisingly interesting account of Chicago's Columbian Exposition (1892) and the activities of a serial killer who made the city home at the time of the fair. When I picked up the book, I suspected that the book's popularity might be due in large part to the fact that the book would have automatic appeal to Chicagoans, particularly Hyde Parkers. Having spent many years in Hyde, Park, the part of the city in which the Exposition occurred, I was particularly enthralled by discussion of many of my own favorite haunts (e.g. the wooded island where I walked my dogs every morning and the Midway).
What Larson does best in this book is drawing the sharp contrast between the "White City," the almost mythical city created for the fair, and "darkness," the chaos of turn of the century urban living exemplified by Larson's villain, serial killer Holmes, but also by the soot and pollution of the trains and factories, disease, economic depression, and the stench and gore of Chicago's slaughterhouses. Indeed, the White City, which, by Larson's account, had a profound impact on America for the next century, deeply affecting the American psyche, architectural styles, and even inspiring Walt Disney's Magic Kingdom and the work of Frank Lloyd Wright, is ever in danger of succumbing to the "darkness."
As for the story of Holmes, as I just indicated, I like it best as symbolic of grim reality. However, if you are into reading about serial killers, you might find it more interesting on its own account.
I highly recommend this book.
What Larson does best in this book is drawing the sharp contrast between the "White City," the almost mythical city created for the fair, and "darkness," the chaos of turn of the century urban living exemplified by Larson's villain, serial killer Holmes, but also by the soot and pollution of the trains and factories, disease, economic depression, and the stench and gore of Chicago's slaughterhouses. Indeed, the White City, which, by Larson's account, had a profound impact on America for the next century, deeply affecting the American psyche, architectural styles, and even inspiring Walt Disney's Magic Kingdom and the work of Frank Lloyd Wright, is ever in danger of succumbing to the "darkness."
As for the story of Holmes, as I just indicated, I like it best as symbolic of grim reality. However, if you are into reading about serial killers, you might find it more interesting on its own account.
I highly recommend this book.
I have returned!
It wasn't that hot (well, it didn't FEEL that hot) at the game yesterday on account of the fact that it was quite windy and not as muggy as it might be. All the same, I drank over a gallon of water and didn't feel like putting anything that wasn't a simple carb (preferably served ice cold) into my body. I'll be ingesting a whole lot of protein today to make it all up to the pending child.
I'm ready for an August cool down. At home in Maine we have many August evenings that presage autumn - there's just a little bit of crispness in the air and, as soon as you start to pay attention to it, it's gone. I'd like that right about now.
I'm ready for an August cool down. At home in Maine we have many August evenings that presage autumn - there's just a little bit of crispness in the air and, as soon as you start to pay attention to it, it's gone. I'd like that right about now.
Friday, July 22, 2005
Dorks and Nerds Only Need Apply!
Way back in the days when I used to date, I had one hard and fast rule, specified above.
As you can imagine, my dating pool became much larger when I made the transition from high school to the University of Chicago, both because there were so many more nerds to be had and because my search for love was no longer stymied by my failed attempts at make-up and the right clothes and my ignorance of what was going on in the world of television and radio and all that - for all but a few "normals" lurking around campus such things were not important. Many people feel strongly about their undergraduate institutions, myself included. I could start talking about how important my Chicago years were but I doubt you would find it very interesting so let's skip it.
At any rate, my partner and I are still tremendous U of C freaks. That's why we're going to Hyde Park this weekend to buy a University of Chicago outfit for the pending child, to learn about sabermetrics, and to watch the White Sox- Red Sox game. Apart from the heat, I expect it will be a wonderful weekend.
Incidentally, in writing this post, I decided to test my own nerdiness. I am, alas, mediocre.
As you can imagine, my dating pool became much larger when I made the transition from high school to the University of Chicago, both because there were so many more nerds to be had and because my search for love was no longer stymied by my failed attempts at make-up and the right clothes and my ignorance of what was going on in the world of television and radio and all that - for all but a few "normals" lurking around campus such things were not important. Many people feel strongly about their undergraduate institutions, myself included. I could start talking about how important my Chicago years were but I doubt you would find it very interesting so let's skip it.
At any rate, my partner and I are still tremendous U of C freaks. That's why we're going to Hyde Park this weekend to buy a University of Chicago outfit for the pending child, to learn about sabermetrics, and to watch the White Sox- Red Sox game. Apart from the heat, I expect it will be a wonderful weekend.
Incidentally, in writing this post, I decided to test my own nerdiness. I am, alas, mediocre.
Thursday, July 21, 2005
Today
So far nothing is going right. We'll see what happens because it is still early after all but I definitely feel that today could be the day for a little felix felicis. If you happen to have some that you are willing to give, let me know!
Tuesday, July 19, 2005
Married to Mary: July version
Remember how I was all angsty about my dad's fairly sudden wedding and his plans to move to Connecticut? Further, do you remember how I returned from my last trip out to Maine with relatively little to say about my dad's new wife but with comments on my dad's sneakiness? If so, perhaps you will appreciate this:
I was speaking with my father. I mentioned that the weather in Portland has been wonderful (mostly the high 70s compared to the muggy 80s and 90s inland and in southern New England) and said that his grumbling about the long, cold, wet spring must finally be a thing of the past. He abruptly commenced a long monologue in which he spoke endlessly about how unbearable Maine winters are and how Connecticut runs about 10 degrees warmer than Portland on average. He emphatically stated that he really wasn't keen on spending another winter on the island.
"Dad, what are you talking about?" I replied.
"Well, Mary has decided that instead of me selling the house and moving to Connecticut, she is going to sell her condo and move up here. We'll put the money into the house and the cottage. Due to the property tax reassessment, the island real estate market is flooded. Mary thinks it would be crazy for us to sell right now. Besides, she really likes it out here."
"Ohhhh," I stifle my laughter, "Sounds like a great idea to me!"
My dad grumbles under his breath - something about how he didn't move down to Connecticut fast enough.
So, my dad's wife kicks ass, folks! Not only is she going to see to it that my island home is preserved, she might just be financially savvy enough to keep my dad out of the poorhouse and (NO JOKE) that takes a load off my mind!
I was speaking with my father. I mentioned that the weather in Portland has been wonderful (mostly the high 70s compared to the muggy 80s and 90s inland and in southern New England) and said that his grumbling about the long, cold, wet spring must finally be a thing of the past. He abruptly commenced a long monologue in which he spoke endlessly about how unbearable Maine winters are and how Connecticut runs about 10 degrees warmer than Portland on average. He emphatically stated that he really wasn't keen on spending another winter on the island.
"Dad, what are you talking about?" I replied.
"Well, Mary has decided that instead of me selling the house and moving to Connecticut, she is going to sell her condo and move up here. We'll put the money into the house and the cottage. Due to the property tax reassessment, the island real estate market is flooded. Mary thinks it would be crazy for us to sell right now. Besides, she really likes it out here."
"Ohhhh," I stifle my laughter, "Sounds like a great idea to me!"
My dad grumbles under his breath - something about how he didn't move down to Connecticut fast enough.
So, my dad's wife kicks ass, folks! Not only is she going to see to it that my island home is preserved, she might just be financially savvy enough to keep my dad out of the poorhouse and (NO JOKE) that takes a load off my mind!
Monday, July 18, 2005
Huh?
Lately I've had the opportunity to become acquainted with folks who know something about sociology/social theory and who may even ask me about my dissertation. Maybe I don't know anything about sociology or maybe I've been holed up in my office too long, but somehow the questions always throw me off balance. I come off sounding like I have never set foot inside my own department and feel the need to give the person my card at the end of the conversation just to prove that I am not a fraud (even if, for all practical purposes, I really am).
For example:
Q: So, are you a functionalist or a structuralist?
Me: Ummm (stammer and glance around nervously as if searching for an escape route), I guess I'm neither. I'm interested in the interface between lived micro-interactions and macro-cultural ideas that enable and constrain our after-the-fact interpretations of those interactions.
Q: What theorists are you using for your dissertation?
Me: Well... (long pause as I glance around nervously as if searching for an escape route) I'm using Wuthnow for one section and maybe Bakhtin... and Bourdieu.
Q: If Durkheim is a functionalist and Marx is a conflict theorist, then what is Weber?
Me: Huh? Hell if I know but his ideas about rationalization and bureaucracy and the various relationships between rationality and action are interesting.
For example:
Q: So, are you a functionalist or a structuralist?
Me: Ummm (stammer and glance around nervously as if searching for an escape route), I guess I'm neither. I'm interested in the interface between lived micro-interactions and macro-cultural ideas that enable and constrain our after-the-fact interpretations of those interactions.
Q: What theorists are you using for your dissertation?
Me: Well... (long pause as I glance around nervously as if searching for an escape route) I'm using Wuthnow for one section and maybe Bakhtin... and Bourdieu.
Q: If Durkheim is a functionalist and Marx is a conflict theorist, then what is Weber?
Me: Huh? Hell if I know but his ideas about rationalization and bureaucracy and the various relationships between rationality and action are interesting.
Harry Potter - my spoiler questions
1. Don't you think that J.K. Rowling could have used the additional 200 pages (making the book as long as Order of the Phoenix) to fill in the plot a little more and explain about Dumbledore's hand?
2. Doesn't it seem odd that the half-blood Prince was really not that important to the overall plot and, thus, is an odd person to have in the title? This isn't to say that more couldn't have been done with the Prince.
3. Did Dumbledore know what was going to happen on the rooftop? Is it really possible that he was wrong about Snape (while everyone else was correct) all that time? Seems kind of lame doesn't it? I mean, unless Dumbledore needs to be fallible and his hubris gets him.
4. Wasn't there just a little too much snogging and attention to teen love in particular?
5. What was the point of the whole Ginny thing if Harry needs to head out on his own after only a few weeks? How come Ron and Hermione get to come along and Ginny can't?
6. Is he really not going back to school next year? If not, it won't really be year 7 will it?
2. Doesn't it seem odd that the half-blood Prince was really not that important to the overall plot and, thus, is an odd person to have in the title? This isn't to say that more couldn't have been done with the Prince.
3. Did Dumbledore know what was going to happen on the rooftop? Is it really possible that he was wrong about Snape (while everyone else was correct) all that time? Seems kind of lame doesn't it? I mean, unless Dumbledore needs to be fallible and his hubris gets him.
4. Wasn't there just a little too much snogging and attention to teen love in particular?
5. What was the point of the whole Ginny thing if Harry needs to head out on his own after only a few weeks? How come Ron and Hermione get to come along and Ginny can't?
6. Is he really not going back to school next year? If not, it won't really be year 7 will it?
Sunday, July 17, 2005
but I'm a cheerleader...
Was such a great movie! I haven't given it a thought in years, not until I read this article in the times today about a teenager sent off to be cured of his homosexuality through fundamentalist christian re-education.
What the f**k? I really don't understand it. I mean, I guess I can come up with some quasi-rational thought process which would lead parents to think that the best thing they can do for their gay child is to send him to "Camp What-some-folks-think-the-bible-wants-gender-relations-to-be," but this rational thought process hinges upon a set of fundamental assumptions like:
Last year I was in Maine, in spinning class. The instructor was my favorite. I took spinning and pilates with her and I thought that she was just the cat's pajamas. Then, during class that one day, she was talking about some new fangled fitness/massage program coming out that recognized the intricacies of the body as a unified system. As we spun, she spoke at length about how amazing the body is. I couldn't have agreed with her more. Then she concluded, "And that's why the theory of evolution is all wrong. Nothing so beautiful and complex could be the result of chance. It was planned and built." Fortunately, my feet were in the toe-clips so I didn't fall over from the shock of learning that someone who knew so much would draw a conclusion that was the fundamental opposite of the one I might draw.
It is the same thing with pregnancy. The whole thing is really awe-inspiring - what bodies can do and how just a little dna and the right growing conditions result in a being. I suspect the birth itself will be equally astounding. However, when I think about it all, I feel more connected to the natural world - I mean there isn't anything particularly otherworldly about reproduction. It is animal through and through. That's not to say that I don't find it meaningful and even, perhaps, spiritual. I think about the continuity of life - that I am one in a long-line of creatures who will live on this planet and contribute to the continuity of life on it just like the penguins and the grasshoppers and the giraffes and the trees and the blue herons. That's why I am frequently thrown for a loop when an old woman stops me on the bus and says, with a big smile, "We got new life coming. Praise Jesus. Thank you Jesus." Or when friends, instead of wishing us well or whatever, say, "May your family be blessed" or refer to my big belly as the "little miracle."
What the f**k? I really don't understand it. I mean, I guess I can come up with some quasi-rational thought process which would lead parents to think that the best thing they can do for their gay child is to send him to "Camp What-some-folks-think-the-bible-wants-gender-relations-to-be," but this rational thought process hinges upon a set of fundamental assumptions like:
- some folks' interpretation of the bible is correct
- the bible should inform current gender relations and sexual practices
- homosexuality is a psychological issue
- homosexuality is abnormal and unnatural (read this for evidence that homosexuality occurs fairly routinely in the natural world)
- homosexuality can be cured with a hearty dose of "Jesus" and "routine" inter and intra-gender interactions (note the quotes)
Last year I was in Maine, in spinning class. The instructor was my favorite. I took spinning and pilates with her and I thought that she was just the cat's pajamas. Then, during class that one day, she was talking about some new fangled fitness/massage program coming out that recognized the intricacies of the body as a unified system. As we spun, she spoke at length about how amazing the body is. I couldn't have agreed with her more. Then she concluded, "And that's why the theory of evolution is all wrong. Nothing so beautiful and complex could be the result of chance. It was planned and built." Fortunately, my feet were in the toe-clips so I didn't fall over from the shock of learning that someone who knew so much would draw a conclusion that was the fundamental opposite of the one I might draw.
It is the same thing with pregnancy. The whole thing is really awe-inspiring - what bodies can do and how just a little dna and the right growing conditions result in a being. I suspect the birth itself will be equally astounding. However, when I think about it all, I feel more connected to the natural world - I mean there isn't anything particularly otherworldly about reproduction. It is animal through and through. That's not to say that I don't find it meaningful and even, perhaps, spiritual. I think about the continuity of life - that I am one in a long-line of creatures who will live on this planet and contribute to the continuity of life on it just like the penguins and the grasshoppers and the giraffes and the trees and the blue herons. That's why I am frequently thrown for a loop when an old woman stops me on the bus and says, with a big smile, "We got new life coming. Praise Jesus. Thank you Jesus." Or when friends, instead of wishing us well or whatever, say, "May your family be blessed" or refer to my big belly as the "little miracle."
Saturday, July 16, 2005
Half-Blood Prince
I picked up my copy of Harry Potter & The Half-Blood Prince last night at midnight and read for a couple of hours before bed. This morning I ran errands and then read all afternoon. I finished the book at about 6. I am not sure what I think - my opinion at this point is colored by my annoyance (common when finishing one of the later books in the series), that the book seems to create more loose ends than it ties up, that Rowling has left a whole lot to cover in the next, supposedly last, book, and that, at this point I have no one with whom I can discuss the whole thing.
Ice Cream Update
This evening I enjoyed an ice cream from the Chocolate Factory - a scoop of cookies'n'cream and a scoop of chocolate peanut butter pretzel in a waffle cone. Ah... sweet nectar.
Friday, July 15, 2005
Bad taste in your mouth
S.E.P. turned me on to this little quiz and I thought I'd take it since I've been craving ice cream for days now. My favorite ice cream is Chocolate Shoppe in Madison - Fat Elvis and Snap-o-lantern (in season) are their best flavors. My general philosophy on ice cream is that it must include chocolate (except for rare exceptions like snap-o-lantern) and the more chunks the better.
I was dismayed to learn that I am Strawberry Ice Cream - probably the worst flavor next to Maple Walnut. All the indifference and even occasional aversion that folks feel - it's starting to make sense to me now.
| You Are Strawberry Ice Cream |
 You often find yourself on the outside looking in. Insightful and pensive, you really understand how the world works. You are most compatible with chocolate chip ice cream. |
Tuesday, July 12, 2005
Motherhood: advice solicited
I've got an interview coming up for a position that I'd really love to have. Although I don't know who the other candidates are, I suspect that I am a contender. However, what is going to happen when I waddle in to my interview more than 8 months pregnant?
The evidence I've encountered in my very circumscribed review* points to pregnancy (and motherhood status generally) as a bit of a double-whammy when it comes to employment, leading to downward biases of both task competence (except maybe in "nurturing" professions like nursing) and work commitment. Given that the position I hope to receive has flexible hours and is not a managerial position, I am not as bad off as I might be. However, it's pretty awful to realize that I will likely be working against an automatic bias. It is even more disconcerting to know that my partner has been able to use the same familial status, married with child on the way, as an asset in his professional life.
How should I deal with this issue in my interview? Although they cannot legally ask me about my familial status, it will be obvious. Should I raise the issue myself instead of waiting to see if they bring it up? What should I say? Should I state explicitly that I recognize that my pending motherhood status might affect their assessment of me? Then what?
*See Ridgeway and Correll for starters.
The evidence I've encountered in my very circumscribed review* points to pregnancy (and motherhood status generally) as a bit of a double-whammy when it comes to employment, leading to downward biases of both task competence (except maybe in "nurturing" professions like nursing) and work commitment. Given that the position I hope to receive has flexible hours and is not a managerial position, I am not as bad off as I might be. However, it's pretty awful to realize that I will likely be working against an automatic bias. It is even more disconcerting to know that my partner has been able to use the same familial status, married with child on the way, as an asset in his professional life.
How should I deal with this issue in my interview? Although they cannot legally ask me about my familial status, it will be obvious. Should I raise the issue myself instead of waiting to see if they bring it up? What should I say? Should I state explicitly that I recognize that my pending motherhood status might affect their assessment of me? Then what?
*See Ridgeway and Correll for starters.
Malaise, possible causes, part I
I am without income for the first time since age 5 (nearly 6) when I began (somewhat illicitly) my very first paper route. At age 7 I added summer employment picking and arranging wildflowers for the tables at a seasonal island restaurant. At age 9 I began babysitting. Age 11, under-the-table dishwasher at year-round island restaurant. Age 13, part-time waitressing during the school year (Saturday 5:30 a.m. - 2:30 p.m.) and full-time over summer. Etc. Etc.
I know that it would be impractical for me to expect to make it to campus for a lectureship this fall (I'm due the first week of classes) and, furthermore, I have had it up to here with RAships that stress me out and take up all of my time while yielding, at best, a minor authorship of some random chapter in some edited volume that is completely unrelated to any of my own research interests. All the same, it doesn't feel right not to be bringing any money into the household for the first time since age 5.
On top of it, fiscally speaking, things are a little tight around here right now with summer incomes being what they are and the fact that in the last year we acquired and partially furnished a house and a nice pre-owned van-ola (the van-ola was already furnished), took a couple of nice trips, and are trying to collect all the necessary accoutrements for child-rearing. So, compound my general discomfort about not making money with the fact that we could use a little more and you've got my stressed out state. Let's not even talk about the fact that a tuition bill with my name on it is going to be arriving in the mail sometime in the next month or so...
Please, before you write some nasty comment about how I shouldn't complain because I am so much better off than most people, know that I am aware of that. I'm stressed out all the same.
I know that it would be impractical for me to expect to make it to campus for a lectureship this fall (I'm due the first week of classes) and, furthermore, I have had it up to here with RAships that stress me out and take up all of my time while yielding, at best, a minor authorship of some random chapter in some edited volume that is completely unrelated to any of my own research interests. All the same, it doesn't feel right not to be bringing any money into the household for the first time since age 5.
On top of it, fiscally speaking, things are a little tight around here right now with summer incomes being what they are and the fact that in the last year we acquired and partially furnished a house and a nice pre-owned van-ola (the van-ola was already furnished), took a couple of nice trips, and are trying to collect all the necessary accoutrements for child-rearing. So, compound my general discomfort about not making money with the fact that we could use a little more and you've got my stressed out state. Let's not even talk about the fact that a tuition bill with my name on it is going to be arriving in the mail sometime in the next month or so...
Please, before you write some nasty comment about how I shouldn't complain because I am so much better off than most people, know that I am aware of that. I'm stressed out all the same.
Monday, July 11, 2005
Wednesday, July 06, 2005
Blah.
It's not that there is nothing to post. It's just that I seem to be experiencing a bit of mid-summer malaise. Hopefully, hopefully, I will be able to get out from under it soon because there is an awful lot to accomplish in the next 7 weeks or so. Today, however, I think I am going to embrace the grayness outdoors and mimic it indoors by sitting around and feeling low.
Perhaps tomorrow........
Perhaps tomorrow........
Tuesday, July 05, 2005
Summerfest
We spent a few hours at Summerfest this afternoon. It is a great deal of fun, especially if it is not infernally hot. The first time I ever attended Summerfest it was about 90 degrees in the shade and everyone told me that I would be a Summerfest poser if I didn't drink copious amounts of beer and eat Saz's sampler of fried goodness including sour cream 'n' chive fries, cheese curds, and mozzarella sticks - absolutely the last thing I wanted to put in my body on a really hot day.
Anyway, the weather was perfect today and I determined that the only thing Summerfest is missing is a KARAOKE STAGE!
Anyway, the weather was perfect today and I determined that the only thing Summerfest is missing is a KARAOKE STAGE!
Saturday, July 02, 2005
Victory!
The folks at JFW commented recently on family communication. I was a little puzzled when JFW drew the conclusion that appendages would be left behind if that was what it might take to get out of the 52-year marriage which produced the communication depicted. Was it the underlying relationship suggested by the "coffee ready to go" and "no supper" signs or was it the signs themselves that are the problem? I am wondering because the staff at JFW is clearly not familiar with our family "Victory Board" although the name of our center of operations was developed by a member of the JFW team.
another example of intrafamilial communication and organization
another example of intrafamilial communication and organization
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)