Malaise, possible causes, part I

I am without income for the first time since age 5 (nearly 6) when I began (somewhat illicitly) my very first paper route. At age 7 I added summer employment picking and arranging wildflowers for the tables at a seasonal island restaurant. At age 9 I began babysitting. Age 11, under-the-table dishwasher at year-round island restaurant. Age 13, part-time waitressing during the school year (Saturday 5:30 a.m. - 2:30 p.m.) and full-time over summer. Etc. Etc.

I know that it would be impractical for me to expect to make it to campus for a lectureship this fall (I'm due the first week of classes) and, furthermore, I have had it up to here with RAships that stress me out and take up all of my time while yielding, at best, a minor authorship of some random chapter in some edited volume that is completely unrelated to any of my own research interests. All the same, it doesn't feel right not to be bringing any money into the household for the first time since age 5.

On top of it, fiscally speaking, things are a little tight around here right now with summer incomes being what they are and the fact that in the last year we acquired and partially furnished a house and a nice pre-owned van-ola (the van-ola was already furnished), took a couple of nice trips, and are trying to collect all the necessary accoutrements for child-rearing. So, compound my general discomfort about not making money with the fact that we could use a little more and you've got my stressed out state. Let's not even talk about the fact that a tuition bill with my name on it is going to be arriving in the mail sometime in the next month or so...

Please, before you write some nasty comment about how I shouldn't complain because I am so much better off than most people, know that I am aware of that. I'm stressed out all the same.