the end is near!

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I know that the last couple installments haven't been the best but here's hoping.

strong program

I'm really quite busy over the next few days and, it being E's nap time, I should be tending to a plethora of more immediately pressing things. However, I need to work through this a little bit.

I've been reevaluating Jeff Alexander's strong program of cultural sociology since the ASA. I decided earlier on in my graduate career that the strong program is a little too retrospective (in that it doesn't seem to have any predictive power) and a little too agent-less for me. However, some conversations I had at the meeting led to me think I should reconsider. So, I'm reading.

Anyway, in theory (used here as a figure of speech) I am sympathetic to the strong program which is akin in many ways to Foucault's study of the causal and arbitrary nature of language/discourse/knowledge (have I mentioned that I LOVE Foucault? Discipline & Punish would likely make it on my all-time top 10 READING list) but maintains the autonomy of culture, which is to say that the cultural realm is distinct from and not homologous (sorry Bourdieu) or reducible to other elements of the social world like the state, economic interests, etc, etc.

It is no wonder that Alexander's theoretical work is appealing to me. My entire larger research project, including my quantitative master's thesis and even my BA thesis, is concerned with the relationship between intention and action (particularly as both intention and action are mutually constitutive as well as necessarily referential to both internal and external meaning systems). However, I have never encountered an application of the strong program that works for me.

What I am looking for is a more microsociological theory of cultural autonomy that takes pragmatic (here used as a reference to American Pragmatism. I am thinking here about the importance of habit and intelligence in that pragmatic sense) and ethnomethodological (e.g. accountability to everday interaction) concerns into account. I want this microsociological theory to be the corrolary of a more macrosociological theory of culture explaining the development, dissemination and impact (causally speaking) at the macro level of culture structures.

Any ideas, folks? Seems like too large a project for the dissertation.

and down again

Not only am I crazy (see my comments here for proof), I attended a job market meeting today (yes, I know, not until next year but I worry that my partner is going to be offered a lateral this year and I want to have something to send out) in which I looked at CVs that confirmed no amount of cosmetic work is going to make mine worthy of the short list. Then I was off to a meeting with a faculty member I hoped would be a good collaborator/mentor/#4. This particular individual gave me a "we'll see."

Given that most of the faculty I know from taking courses and attending brownbags have left or retired and that I am not around the department to maintain and initiate relations with others, I feel like I'm really in a bind when it comes to rounding out my committee and coming up with a list of recommenders (let's bracket the fact that I'd also like a bit of a shepherd and agent when it comes to the job market). Furthermore, I would find it particularly painful to be told by a faculty member I asked that s/he would rather not recommend me/etc so I find myself not asking. I know I'm not around and I know there are a lot of grad students in the department and I know that it's work to write those letters, particularly if you want to do it well and say something about the dissertation but I also know I need some advocates.

For now, my ego mildly bruised after today, I think it best if I get through some of the books and articles on the stack and finish my syllabus for the fall. No danger of assaults on the self esteem there.

recovery

Better today although I'm decelerating when it comes to work. E doesn't have school this week - intercession - and my partner started teaching today. Thus, I am going to have a slow work week.

Something else about the ASA. Did anyone else notice that there were a lot of babies and small children present? Further, did anyone notice that those youngsters were usually in the care of their fathers or other male caregivers?

It seems too obvious to mention but I will anyway. The idea is, folks, that good dads can bring their kids to work from time to time ( and aren't they just such great parents for taking part in care-giving) while good female sociologists don't let children distract them from their work. We hear and obey!

shambles

Sadly, things have gone downhill since my last post. Back to feeling alone, invisible and "like butter scraped over too much bread." No new developments academically... it's just the rest of it, you know, the rest of life.

Is it just that I have been home long enough for the ASA high to wear off? Is blogging bad luck? Was it wrong to state what I had been feeling for days, that things are good?

Damn.

post hoc

Sorry, sorry. I thinking I'm starting to be over this endeavor but I've felt that way before so we'll just play it by ear, OK?

The ASA was great! If you haven't noticed, I am a bit socially and intellectually isolated out here in brew city. Thus, it was wonderful to have interaction and with SO MANY SOCIOLOGISTS! The whole experience really boosted my confidence in my work and made me feel better about my chosen vocation.

E and her dad had a nice trip too. They went to many of the museums and sites. My partner likes to visit old Olympic venues. Luckily for him, Montreal once hosted the Olympics. Luckily for me, I was too busy to accompany him on a tour. E loved our accommodations in Montreal. She was really working on pulling up and cruising - precursor to walking. She also diversified her mobility repetoire a little by adding conventional crawling (she is typically a butt-scooter) and crab walking to her skill set.

Anyway, the trip has energized me. First, I am no longer applying for asst. prof. positions this year. Instead I'm going to put the energy into getting one chapter finished and sent out to journals and 2 other chapters well underway. Second, I am going to put more energy into networking with other sociologists doing work sympathetic to my own. Finally, I've been ON TASK since we returned. I get through most of the items on my to do list most days (and I've replaced a lot of mom-ish chores with dissertation-ish ones) and put in extra work time during E's naps and, importantly, at night.

So, things are good.

not the ritz

One of the things we learned very early in our travels with E was that luxury is meaningless. Our first hotel visit was a night in posh room on the executive floor of Chicago's Palmer House Hilton. My partner had a conference. As we put E to bed at 7 that evening, it dawned upon us that we had nowhere to go and, our child being a light sleeper, we would neither be able to turn on the light nor the television without waking her. My partner went off to a cafe to work on his presentation while I sat in the dark, then moved to the bathroom to read, and then watched television very quietly until it woke E.

Since then we have either stayed with friends or rented suites. Here in Montreal we find ourselves in a fully-equipped 1 bedroom apartment in Hotel La Tour Centreville. The hotel is in a fabulous location just 2 blocks from the IGA (also something that counts for a great deal when traveling with a child ) and just 2 blocks from the conference site. It's nothing fancy. The appliance in the kitchen are old - that mustard color that they stopped making years ago. There are about 10 too many layers of paint on evertyhing and the color scheme leaves much to be desired. However, E can scoot around to her heart's content and she can spill her food without me feeling like we are trashing the place. (Maybe someday I will tell you the story of the blueberries and the 4-star hotel carpet but I am being upbeat today. Take my word for it, though, blueberries are best eaten at home.)

To top it all off, we have the unexpected perk of inexpensive wireless internet and a chinese restaurant in the lobby.

E's photo of the month: 11 months

hard place and elusive balance

Yesterday we visited friends in Chicago. Close friends. Kin, really, and, as it works with family (as the previous post elucidates), the relationships are often based upon shared history and the promise of continued contact, perceptions of acceptance and support, etc. Shared interests and opinions just don't count for much with family.

I think one of the reasons I have trouble forming friendships is the fact that I grew up in such a large family network and small community network. When there are only 6 kids in your grade and you're surrounded by extended family, you don't have a lot of opportunity to engage in much interest group socializing and boundary making when it comes to friends and cliques. Even now I have a hard time figuring out who my friends or potential friends are so I generally default to the approach-everyone-and-let-them-decide strategy of discerning who might think I am worth counting as a friend (given my characteristics as well as the individual's resources for forming and maintaining relationships). I tend to offer about 4 chances unless I am totally blown off in which case the "one last chance" rule comes into effect.

Anyway, I digress. That is not what I intended to post about at all. This is what I intended to post:

Yesterday in Chicago, one of the kin we got together was Dr. D. He's basically the kin equivalent of an in-law being that he is the kin of our kin. Dr. D has his own sad story which I may tell some day but suffice it to say for present purposes that he is an elitist and quite sexist. Over the years I have tolerated these flaws without comment but lately it's grating on me. The big issue is that he clearly dismisses me as anything but a brainless child-producing organism. For example, when we first saw him yesterday he and my partner exchanged their usual pleasantries:
"Dr."
"Counselor."
and then engaged in a lengthy discussion in which Dr. D asked my partner a great many questions about how his work was going, what research he was working on, etc. Some time later Dr. D turned to me and said, "How's it going, Mommy?" Not really waiting for a response, he turned to E to tell her how darling she is. We've had conversations in which I basically had to bully my way in saying something along the lines of, "You know, this is actually my area and I would like to make a contribution to this conversation if you think you can comprehend the wisdom of a social scientist."

Of course, it works the other way too. When E was quite young I would bring her to campus for my dissertation group and meetings with my advisors. Often I would bump into folks from the program and the first thing out of their mouths was "How is the dissertation going?" I took offense that folks would see my standing there with my new baby and not recognize that my dissertation wasn't really a priority at the moment. I felt like they were implicitly critical of my decision to rear a child.

So, yeah, damned if you do and damned if you don't I guess.

[]

i was just perusing the asa schedule and found at least 2 other students doing similar work. their cvs kick my cv's ass. fortunately, my cv is not publicly available so, when they receive my email requesting to get together at the meeting, they won't be able to google me and find out how awful i am.

who am i kidding? i'll never get a job. i really think i would be happy being a mom and working at the hunger task force or the humane society or the peace coalition or the urban ecology center. i mean, i really love teaching and consuming research and i have ideas for projects all the time but i really don't think i have what it takes to BE that person. you know what i mean?

Alleluia and Amen

I was minding my own business reading the newspaper from my field site when I happened across this story discussing my island home.

The island is home to all manner of people so I don't begrudge folks a Baptist Church and even a visit from Falwell himself. However, it is all particularly horrifying to me because this is the church that my dad has taken to attending with his new wife even if he does roll his eyes and claim that he is still a Catholic and even if he does side with the "liberal faction" in the family when we are discussing everything but homosexuality. There are some things about Mary and their relationship resulting in disquiet for me. Up to this point I have chosen to turn a blind eye because, quite frankly, I am overjoyed to see my dad happy and cared for and am willing to tolerate a whole lot of woohaa as long as that is the case. And, of course, there is the fact that my dad and Mary are all I've got and, although I used to be able to give my dad a dressing down when I deemed it necessary, I'm not sure that I've got the pull these days to get any more an invitation to show myself out.

throwback

Finally saw X3 yesterday. I liked it. I think they tried to do a little too much. I mean, you just can't get everything in there, you know, even if true fans get frustrated by neglected characters and plot lines. At any rate, I think Marvel has done pretty well bringing their comic books to the big screen. Mostly, however, if I'm going to see an action film, I would opt for a Marvel or other comic book adaptation pretty much every time because the plot and characters are so much richer than your average clicheed (imagine there was an accent OK) action film and heroes/villains.

Case in point, we rented "The Island." It was awful.

Anyway, that trip to the movies occurred during designated work time. We had our regular Wednesday afternoon childcare and instead of going to our respective offices we went for a really nice and insanely inexpensive lunch and followed it up with a trip to the budget movie theater. So, our entire afternoon out would have cost only $16.50 if it weren't for the $45 child care surcharge.

group w

10 calls in need of return. I'm waiting. Poor planning.

Middling

Perhaps this is why I find it fairly blah here in cheeseland. I have always said that it is "regular" here.

The question is, though, would you rather be a resident of a representative state? I wonder, if you polled folks from each state ahead of time about how much they thought it would be a good thing to be most representative of the U.S. population when it came to things like population density and home ownership rates (numbers that are going to leave extremely rural states and those with old-growth large cities on the outs). I would bet that, on average, folks would tend toward the condition of their state (e.g. folks in Hawaii would not consider it a good thing while folks in Michigan would).

The most 'representative' state: Wisconsin

By Mark Preston
CNN Political Editor

WASHINGTON (CNN) -- Looking for a state that is a microcosm of the whole country? You won't find it in Iowa or New Hampshire -- there are 25 states that come closer to average statewide measures on important characteristics such as race and income.

[...]

Holland identified 12 key statistics -- four that measure race and ethnicity, four that look at income and education, and four that describe the typical neighborhood in each state -- and added up how far each was from the figures for the average state on each measure.

Holland said he chose these 12 different categories because "they have a strong impact on the political landscape in every state."

Close behind Wisconsin are four other Midwestern states that look most like a hypothetical average state -- Missouri, Kansas, Indiana and Ohio. Most of the least-typical states tend to come from the Northeast, including Massachusetts, New Jersey and New York. West Virginia is in 49th place, while Mississippi comes in dead last.

[...]

So, what makes Wisconsin so special -- or, to put it another way, what makes Wisconsin so average? It is about as close to the average state as you can get on most of the 12 measures included in this study.

[...]

"It's important to note that there are hundreds of ways of making this same calculation, and dozens of states could all make a legitimate claim to being the most representative state in the nation," Holland said.

To make the calculations easier to understand, Holland recalculated each state's score to produce a zero-to-50 scale -- there are 50 states, after all -- with a high score indicating a state that is more representative than a state with a lower score.

A ranking of the 50 states

1. Wisconsin 36.4

2. Missouri 35.2

3. Kansas 34.4

4. Indiana 30.8

5. Ohio 30.1

6. Oklahoma 29.9

7. Oregon 29.3

8. Nebraska 29.0

9. Georgia 27.3

10. Minnesota 26.9

11. Michigan 26.8

12. Washington 26.3

13. Wyoming 25.9

14. North Carolina 25.8

15. Florida 25.6

16. Montana 25.3

17. Virginia 25.3

18. Alaska 25.1

19. Pennsylvania 25.0

20. Arizona 24.8

21. Delaware 24.1

22. Tennessee 22.3

23. South Dakota 21.4

24. Kentucky 20.3

25. New Mexico 20.3

26. Iowa 19.6

27. Texas 19.6

28. Illinois 19.5

29. Rhode Island 19.0

30. Maryland 18.9

31. Colorado 18.8

32. Louisiana 18.3

33. Idaho 18.1

34. Vermont 17.9

35. Maine 17.4

36. New Hampshire 17.4

37. Utah 17.0

38. Hawaii 16.3

39. South Carolina 15.8

40. California 15.3

41. Arkansas 15.0

42. Alabama 14.6

43. North Dakota 13.8

44. Nevada 13.5

45. Connecticut 13.1

46. Massachusetts 11.6

47. New Jersey 11.4

48. New York 6.5

49. West Virginia 4.8

50. Mississippi 2.8

note of optimism

Meetings with advisors went pretty well this week although one advisor suggested a substantial reorganization of the project. Although I think he is right that it would make for a better project and a more interesting book, there is no way that I could finish the diss by the fall 2007 (seeing as I will have additional data collection to do in spring 2006) - a problem given the fact that I am going to try to sell myself to a few select places as someone who will have a Ph.D. by August.

Another problem: recommenders. I am so out of the loop I don't even know who to ask.

don't sweat the small stuff, right?

rocks along the starboard side

Working on this dissertation is a lot like being the captain of a sinking ship. Not the Titantic, however, more like some slapped-together, oddly-painted old wooden dinghy like the one belonging to Burt Dow, Deep Water Man.

it's been one of those days (weeks?) that lead me to suspect that I am the problem.

why am i such a freak/jerk/snowqueen/snob/puritan/perfectionist/nerd/bookworm/misanthrope/coward/poser?

Persnickety, pernicious, persimmon

Have I mentioned that we don't have air conditioning? Every year we (I) bring up the idea of purchasing a window unit but then we count the number of days we would have used it (it usually ends up being less than seven) and decide it would be a waste. In our case air conditioning would be particularly silly because I am a fanatic about having the windows open as much as possible from May through October (and even at other times of year. Basically if the temperature exceeds 60 degrees, I open the windows) and couldn't stand to give up use of a window for an air conditioner that I am only going to use 7 days of the summer.

It's all perfectly sensical but yesterday I would have signed a contract agreeing to keep my windows closed for all eternity in exchange for a little cool.

for free

it really irks me when people refuse to give without getting-- particularly when a request is converted in a bargaining discussion.

e.g.
[q]would you be willing to help me out next monday?
[a] only if you do something for me on friday.

so what you're telling me is you are able to help me out monday but you won't do it if you can't get something in return, right?

fair warning

I can hear you searching the coffee table drawers for the remote control. I told you that if you continued to leave it lying on the arm of the sofa I would hide it.

Sorry but I am a woman of my word.

[untitled]

I just don't have it in me right now, folks.

Part of it may be that after our treks the mundane seems a little too mundane to be blogworthy. I'm sure a large part of it is that I have enough mundane in my life that many days I am up by 6:30 and I don't stop moving, except for the occasional bathroom break, until after 8 p.m.

However there are a couple of items worthy of mention, and even discussion, although I am not likely to elaborate a great deal.

1. E started daycare this week. She's going 2 half days for the rest of the summer and 3 half days in the fall. She made the transition without any trouble at all. In fact, if I hadn't rationalized her obvious indifference to my leaving her as clear evidence of her sense of trust and security in her mother's love, I might be a bit upset that she happily scoots away to play with the daycare's toys the second I put her on the floor.

2. In the last 1.5 weeks I have doubled the number of times I've been to the gym in the past 10.5 months. I also brought my bike in for a tune-up and got a baby trailer. Heart health here I come!

3. I am going on the job market, albeit in a limited fashion, this fall. Not ready to apply to those dream jobs (and dream locations) yet, just throwing my hat in for a couple of openings in the area. I mean, given the difficulties of the market when you are coordinating with a partner who is also an academic, I would be crazy not to apply for available positions this year - they're small departments making multiple hires so I'm guessing they may not hire at all next year.

4. At present I find I can't eat enough cottage cheese and pineapple - two foods that I learned only in the past year that I can tolerate at all. Mostly I eat the cottage cheese with lettuce, snap peas and sliced tomatoes from our farm share. I eat the pineapple alone or with strawberries from the farm.

E's Photo of the month: 10 months old

Doors of Stockholm and vicinity

One of the things I do when traveling is watch for interesting doors and entries. Stockholm offered a specimen or two. So far my best sightings were in Tossa de Mar, Spain. We've recently acquired a scanner and, if I ever get this office organized, I'll set it up and scan some really great Tossa door photos for you. At any rate, here are a couple of doors, entries, etc. from Stockholm:

This first one is a knocker. The door itself was cool but difficult to photograph due to its size and location on a narrow street in the Gamla Stan, Stockholm's oldest neighborhood.


This is the old keyhole in a barn door in Uppsala.

Unfortunately I've nothing in there for scale but note how thin the actual door is.

This is my favorite kind. Door within the carriage door. You know there is some great open space behind that. That's one of the most intriguing things about older areas like this. On the street it feels so close and congested. There is nothing but mostly windowless walls and doors on the narrow streeta and then you get inside and there are plants and open courtyards and apartments.

You can get a glimpse of the green space inside through this door on the left. I also love the contrast and the close proximity of the two entries.

back from the hinterlands

We're back in Stockholm. Flying home Wednesday. Had a great time up in the land where the sun barely sets.
Enjoyed a smörgasbord with my friend's family. 6 types of picked herring. Veggies swimming in creme fraiche. Swedish shnapps. Mosquitos and the endless days of midsommar.
Loads of fun, truly.
Our 6 weeks of travel is soon to come to an end. How bizarre it will be to go home. I bet E doesn't even remember the place.