Friday, January 14, 2005

degeneration

I am losing my mind.

exhibit 1: Wednesday I was having a fairly important phone conversation and the person with whom I was speaking needed to call me back. She said, "Just give me your number and I will call you back once I deal with this [issue that has just arisen]."
I said, "Sure." but then was unable to recall my phone number. I paused a minute and glanced at the numbers on the phone, hoping that I would be able to recall the pattern the numbers make and, hence, the number. No luck. "You know what," I said, "I am going to be in and out so why don't I call you back. When would you like me to call?"
exhibit 2: Yesterday I had to move my things to my new departmental office, which is on the second floor. When it came time for me to head down the hill to catch the bus back home, I walked to the elevators, pushed the up button, got in and stared blankly at the wall unit. I had absolutely no idea which floor I needed to exit the building. I guessed 5, incorrectly.
exhibit 3: At the end of last semester, I was working on the bus. I was so absorbed in my work that when I looked up I was surprised to find I was on a bus. Then I realized I had no idea where I was - was I between Madison and Chicago, Madison and Milwaukee, Portland and Boston, Portland and Lewiston? I took a deep breath so as not to panic and looked out the window. The relative treelessness confirmed that I was not in New England. I thought about it for a minute and realized that I don't live in Chicago anymore. Thus, I was between Madison and Milwaukee. So, the next question - was I on my way to Madison or on my way home. I tried to remember if I had already lectured that day - to no avail. It was cloudy so the day gave no indication what time it was. A glance at the clock on my cell phone is what finally confirmed that I was on my way home at the end of the day.

Each time something like this happens I struggle not to panic. I feel so disoriented.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

My Grams does those sorts of things too. Of course, she's 94 and senile, so that might not comfort you so much.