GUILTY PLEASURES

I recognize that the whole red state/blue state dichotomy is a false distinction - that the real division in the 2004 election was urban vs. everyone else. However, as a native New Englander, I've grown tired of the way that "northeastern" and "east coast" are bandied about as slurs - as the newest adjective applied to those folks who are believed to be in league with satan himself.
Thus, I take a shameful pleasure in many of the internet invectives I've come across. Reading aloud one particular rant that I came across last night has proven especially therapeutic. I include an edited excerpt here:

We're the *ing Arrogant Northeast Liberal Elite? How about this for arrogant: the South is the Real America? The Authentic America. Really? Cause we *ing founded this country, *holes. Those Founding Fathers you keep going on and on about? All that bull* about what you think they meant by the Second Amendment giving you the right to keep your assault weapons in the glove compartment because you didn't bother to read the first half of the *ing sentence? Who do you think those wig-wearing lacy-shirt sporting revolutionaries were? They were *ing blue-staters, dickhead. Boston? Philadelphia? New York? Hello? [...] Who do you think those *ing stripes on the flag are for? Nine are for *ing blue states. [...] Get it? We started this shit, so don't get all uppity about how real you are you Johnny-come-lately "Oooooh I've been a state for almost a hundred years" dickheads. [...]
The next dickwad who says, "It’s your money, not the government's money" is gonna get their ass kicked. Nine of the ten states that get the most federal *ing dollars and pay the least... can you guess? Go on, guess. That’s right, mother*er, they're red states. And eight of the ten states that receive the least and pay the most? It’s too easy, *hole, they’re blue states. It’s not your money, *holes, it’s *ing our money. [...]
You and your Southern values can bite my * because the blue states got the values over you *ing Real Americans every day of the goddamn week. Which state do you think has the lowest divorce rate you marriage-hyping dickwads? Well? Can you guess? It’s *ing Massachusetts, the *ing center of the gay marriage universe. Yes, that’s right, the state you love to tie around the neck of anyone to the left of Strom Thurmond has the lowest divorce rate in the *ing nation. Think that’s just some aberration? How about this: 9 of the 10 lowest divorce rates are *ing blue states, *hole, and most are in the Northeast, where our values suck so bad. And where are the highest divorce rates? Care to *ing guess? 10 of the top 10 are *ing red-ass we're-so-*ing-moral states.

So, yeah, I know it's awful and wrong. I really don't mean it deep down inside.