I regret to inform you...

that a grave misfortune has befallen us. I have only recently learned of this disaster. While some of you are lamenting the fact that "USDA organic" is an increasingly meaningless term and others of you are shaking your heads in misery as you read about riots in suburban Paris, you remain blissfully unaware that times are far, far more desperate than even presidents who use fear to rule dare claim.

Yes, it is my solemn duty to announce, somewhat belatedly as I had to go into hiding for a time once I became privy to this dire news, that Lemony Snicket, escape artist and chronicler of nefarious schemes, has managed to deliver another account of the misadventures of the ill-fated Baudelaire orphans. The Penultimate Peril provides an account of another in the series of unfortunate events the Baudelaire orphans were forced to endure subsequent to their parents' suspicious demise, which here means before their parents were murdered as a result of the schism of the VFD and Violet, Klaus, and Sunny first fell into the clutches of the evil Count Olaf.

Beware! It is possible that, on an innocent trip to your local bookstore or library, you too will become ensnared in the treachery and heartbreak that Violet, Klaus, Sunny and all who know of their miserable lives are forced to bear day in and day out (which here means that there is barely a moment when we are not thinking about the trouble caused in the past Count Olaf and his associates and all the troubles we expect to encounter in the future).