waxes, wanes

I had a thoroughly depressing phone interview this morning.
4-4 load. No expectations of/support for research. Claims that they want people who love to teach but yet they have you teaching pre-fab classes.
I said everything I felt I needed to say to keep myself in the pool thinking the whole time that I have been completely out of touch with reality.

And now I am completely miserable.

If I had to do it again, I'd have listened to my advisors. 2 out of 3 told me to wait until next year. It's just so hard given the family situation. Namely, my partner being up for tenure shortly and us thinking, given he's at a middling school now, that he has a better chance for a move as a junior lateral. Turns out, in fact, that he is a great candidate. Now it looks like we'll be in the predicament of him having options in great places and me with nothing.