Earlier this week we ventured out of the house and into the car with our new baby in order to run errands. What errands? Well, despite the fact that we didn't even know if we were going to have a boy or girl baby until the relevant body parts saw the light of day, within 2 weeks of delivery we already had a huge pile of god-awful pink and purple flowery and frilly baby clothes to return. Call me crazy, but I would think that anyone who tells you that they decided not to find out the sex of their child ahead of time in order to avoid gendered clothing wouldn't suddenly decide that they want to dress their baby in little pink dresses with purple flowers and embroidery that says, "I love my daddy." Furthermore, anyone who was known to say, "I just want to avoid that Packers cheerleader outfit for as long as possible." prior to the birth of their child is unlikely to have a sudden change of heart upon the arrival of their daughter which will prompt them to dress their child in a badgers cheerleader outfit. So, ungrateful jerks that we are, we returned all of it, except that which came without receipts. We're taking that to the consignment shop.
A related issue, why is it so crucial that people establish the sex of your baby immediately and why is it that, if there is no pink or purple or frills or flowers, that folks assume a baby is a boy? When we returned the pink stuff to baby gap and were standing at the register to exchange it for this, the cashier said, "Oh, my god, someone gave you girls' clothes for a boy?" I responded, "It's a girl but we don't see the need to dress her in pink all the time. There's nothing particularly boy-ish about the outfit we're getting is there?" When I went to Osco yesterday afternoon, the cashier looked at my baby, sleeping in a little yellow t-shirt and nothing else as it was a hot day and said, "What a cute little boy." Exasperated, I replied, "What makes you think she's a boy?" To which the cashier replied, "Oh, just a bad guess." Of course, it was a good guess because usually folks with girl babies designate their babies as girls with "girly" things.
It seems to me there are a few ways to handle gender annoyances:
1. Buckle and dress my girl baby like a "girl."
2. Stop correcting folks and allow them to interact with my baby as if she were a boy.
3. Compromise by sticking with gender neutral clothing but get a little red headband or something to indicate "girl-ness."
4. Keep doing what I am doing.
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2 comments:
Or add one of those "Hello, my namee is E..." stickers, found at conventions, to every outfit
keep doing what you are doing! that way you challenge their assumptions and force them to think about it.
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